... and if I never take the time to sit down and blog when everyone is sleeping it'll never happen!
There's been lots of reevaluation in my life right now. We currently don't have a permanent home... we have a temporary home, supplied with standard items and the only sense of "home" and "familiarity" is in the clothes that were brought in our luggage for this grand adventure. We sent the kids blankets and other things we use frequently in our unaccompanied baggage shipment (the military's way of saying a few things that you want flown over without you and delivered soon after you arrive at your destination... as opposed to all the rest of your things, to include furniture etc., that will get there when it gets there). Anyway, said shipment has been here since we got here (and the rest of our household items for that matter), but without a home we have yet to have them delivered. Is there really no housing here? No, not necessarily. The majority of it is tower buildings (like the one that we currently reside on the 6th floor of), and we need to be on a certain side of the base in order to have our children go to school with out Bishop's children off-base in the Japanese schools, there's a lot of renovations happening, the housing offices doesn't really know what is and isn't available and/or when, and there's very little officer housing... so things are complicated. It's a headache to say the least. I have a lot of mixed feelings on the whole thing. I'm a bit more than stressed out but trying to keep calm for everyone else.... 5 kids 6 and under in a 3 bedroom place with nothing familiar to them and a dad who is gone pretty much from when they get up to when they go to bed has left many of them a little more than stressed out (out of control behaviors and comfort habits like finger sucking etc are at an all time high at the moment). No end in sight for this extended TLF stay and TDY's (temporary duty assignments i.e. husband going out of town for extended periods of time) set for every month for the next few months and deployment(s) on the horizon, have me about tapped out.
Now, on the flip side? I am extremely grateful to have a place to live at all! It's hard to live like this... my children desperately need normalcy, schedules and some stability... but we have a roof and protection from the weather (not necessarily earthquakes, but that's another story all it's own!). I read about the unrest in Syria, I think about the industrial revolution and how many family members and even families lived in one small home. I think of those who lost homes in the slew of natural disasters that have come in full force all over the world over the last year and have no where to go, and no hope of recovering the things that were swept away. I may be uncomfortable (and desperately wanting access to my treadmill), but I don't have to worry about so many things that others do. So, I am blessed, and I am grateful, and I'm praying daily (multiple times usually) that I can handle this the way that I need to!
On another note... I handle things better when I'm distracted :-D. Yes, yes, you know I'm quirky, and this is one of those things that I just do (and I KNOW others do to), deflection can be good sometimes! I still get what I need to done, but when faced with many things that I don't' have control over, I have to find something somewhere. Perhaps the lesson here is that I just need to let go? Maybe... I'll have to revisit that sometime. For now, I have to deflect in order to keep from going truly insane. I read Thomas S Monson's biography "To The Rescue" a lot faster than I thought I would.... it was one I brought on the plane thinking it would keep me busy, and it did for a bit, but it's over sadly (Fantastic read though! You should pick one up!)... I ordered some more books to keep me company until we get a home and I get my other books that have been waiting to be read. Here's what's on it's way, feel free to comment if you've read any!:
-A Watchman on the Tower (Elder Boyd K Packer's biography... the other book I was reading before we shipped our things was Teach Them Diligently, he was also referenced in President Monson's biography and a few CES Broadcasts that I've heard, so I wanted to read more about Elder Packer in the meantime).
-Increase in Learning by David A Bednar
-Return to Virtue by Elaine Dalton
-Being George Washington, The Indispensable Man, as You've Never Seen him by Glenn Beck.
Yah.... I can't do anything on a little scale can I? This isn't even the half of what I wanted *laugh* I'm waiting to see if Deseret Book has a sale for Conference to see about getting the rest (I want more biographies :-D).
It'll be really nice to get these books, reading things like this is a huge stress relief for me. I also thought the George Washington book would be especially nice seeing as how I'm delving into my Master's in American History for another distraction. Yes, being taxed down with papers to write and due dates helps me cope with life, what can I say? It's that or training for races... and with a bunch of little kids and no treadmill I can't do the latter at the moment. So, multiple avenues of stress relief are being visited at the moment.
I'm also learning Japanese through a BYU Independent Study course. We attend a Japanese church and the people there are incredibly kind and very helpful with my struggling language abilities. I'm enjoying learning and being able to communicate more, but have to focus on one day at a time so as not to get too overwhelmed with how much there is to learn!
You know that phrase at the top of my blog "the more I learn the more I realize that there's a lot more to learn"? That phrase is not just there because I like the way it looks! It definitely describes how I feel about everything. I'm at a constant run trying to catch up and wanting to learn everything in one day, but that's not how it is to be. We learn step by step, line upon line, here a little there a little, right? And sometimes the lesson is just to be patient and work a little each day? Anyway! There's a lot more to learn, but I know more now that I used to! That counts for something right? :-D
We've also been revising eating habits here. We watched the Forks over Knives documentary before we left NM, and when I went looking for it while at the gym one day I stumbled on this lecture. So, after having Nathan watch it we've been trying to adapt to more vegan eating habits. While we don't agree with EVERYTHING the guy says, we still agree with quite a bit. We weren't much for eating meat to begin with, but man! Dairy! I LOVE dairy! So, trying to find good recipes to replace our go to ones has been something that I try to do (and not think about how much easier and cheaper it would be in the states!) One of my friends from UT directed me to a fantastic site: http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/, and Engine 2's recipes(featured in Forks over Knives), and I picked up a Forks over Knives book at the BX which also had recipes. I'm not into "fake food" or foods galavanting as something else. So, that makes this a bit more challenging. For me, processed food is processed food and moderation in all things it key.
Anyway! There's a lot and yet very little going on here all at once. Time keeps going at a blistering rate and I feel overwhelmed by things I can't control.... hence the deflection. Things I look forward to are taking turns reading every other verse in the Book of Mormon with Noah, and sitting to read library books. We're trying to work on other things "school related" but just like I'm having a hard time focusing on one thing, my kids are also having a hard time focusing on anything in particular and their normal resources aren't available. We try and hit the park, but it's snowed a few times, rained a lot, and been bitterly cold more than I care to think about. We've braved the bitter cold windy days for the sake of sanity though.
I'm actually looking forward to my older children going to the Japanese school in the hopes that it'll bring some balance to the force. I'm also excited for the opportunity that they'll have to be immersed in the language and culture that their father loves so much. We've been blessed so much to be here and I'm sure we'll continue to be. What's life without some opposition though, right? I'm trying to focus on the positives and not focus on the things that are hard and discouraging. I think this time has really helped drive home the idea that we don't really know what other people are going through or how that effects them. I know that many people out there have some empathy for me, but some of you are wondering what I'm finding so difficult. That's fair... I don't know what has me all worked up either! Okay, I kind of do, but I need to get over it :-). In any case, if you've gotten this far in my babble, here's a beautiful blog post that I'll turn you to thanks to another blog that I frequent. Things aren't always as they seem.
That's enough of my random thoughts for now. Weighing-in Wednesday will be back tomorrow.... okay, granted that's most of yours Tuesday's, but it's Wednesday for me and if I factor in time changes I'll forget! Bear with me here while I try to attempt to straighten my life out or at least find the new path that's been set before us :-).