Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. ~ Margaret D. Nadald

Our Father also gifted us with the nature to nurture, keen sensitivity to the Spirit, selflessness, discernment, and heroic faith. No wonder our Father placed us at the heart of the family and thus at the center of the plan of salvation. We are the Lord's secret weapon. ~ Sheri Dew

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22 January 2010

Ear Piercing...

Ear piercing is one of those things that I had done when I was 7 or 8 (because my mom asked me at the mall one day and I said sure, despite the fact that my sisters had to wait until their teens I believe.) I then went on and had 3 more sets done over time, and still like multiple earrings, but only wear my bottom set because LDS people have been asked to wear one modest pair. So I do.

Moving on, there's a lot of opinions available on piercing and ages to do it at... believe me, I read nearly all of them yesterday in addition to watching youtube clips of it being done with an instrument I was considering buying. Some people think it's best to do it young, others think it best to wait... I was on the wait side (probably because of my family experience of having to wait), until a couple weeks ago.

Nyah and I had gone out for the day together. We redeemed gift cards at Hastings (if it isn't obvious, I love books, so that was the best part of the day for me!), we got Nyah new church shoes, walked the mall, had lunch, etc. Well, while we were at the mall I walked by Claire's and though, 'hey! I should take Nyah to get her ears pierced,' then my conscience kicked in and said, "what did you just say?" Yah, I shook my head and kept walking because I really was going to walk my 3 year old in to get it done.

Now, why was this a crazy thought? I think it's more that I hadn't considered it before in relation to her, and probably thought somewhere in my mind that she should be older, ask for it, etc. Why do it so young?

Anyway! I've been debating this issue for about 4 weeks now and finally decided to just do it! Nathan had given his go ahead, so I was going to do it... maybe! Still I dragged my feet considering all the pros and cons (which I'm sure people in most other countries would laugh at, what's the problem, right??) I think I really thought of it in the first place because she would look more feminine. She cut the very front of her hair on Christmas Eve (it looked shaved), and the only way we could figure to turn it into something good would be giving her a pixie cut. Nathan did great on the haircut, but there went 3 years of hair growth, and girls having long hair is important in my family! So, as I get ready to go anywhere with my daughter (who even with hair could pass as her brother's twin), and spike her hair, I thought that at least earrings would help her look like a little girl! So, there's my own security issues coming out as I wonder what people think of this grown up hair-do... not that the earrings would make her look younger, but at least she'd look more like a girl (with punk rocker roots :-) ). Oh well, anyhow, I think the hair is where this started.

So, I resolved to just let Nyah ask to get her ears pierced since it's not fair for me to inflict pain on her just for looks. Well, Sunday she started playing with my earrings and wanted "toys" (I had some dangling little stone things on that she was batting around) like mommy. So, we asked if she wanted it done, she said yes, I said maybe.

The final decision was made yesterday, I wanted to have it done, I looked to a friend for advice, she helped steady my spine on the matter and offered to do it herself. Some of the concerns I had researched were sanitation, the shop guns... usually run by young people.... being to forceful for little kids and causing scarring etc. So, I watched some videos of a cheap (price wise), push 'gun' and was happy with the control it allowed rather then just snapping quickly.... my friend took care of the sanitation worry since it was at my house with a gun I just bought that'd never been used before, and earrings that I picked up still sealed in the box.

I did have Nyah watch a few videos and explained to her what would happen, that it would hurt, etc. She didn't want the hurt, but she was all for the earrings! I just didn't want her to feel like I was pulling the wool over her eyes, it was her choice and I wanted her to be as well informed as a 3 year old could comprehend. Anyway, this afternoon held a few tears but ultimately turned out well and I'm glad it's over!

What I find most interesting is how big of a 'dilemma' this has been for me! I'm a researcher, so I've read and read so many things that are out there about this subject. It seems like the real verdict is that American's generally have problems with this issue. I'm sure it stems somewhere from not wanting your little girl to look older etc., which is understandable... (except parents nowadays then let them do other things that don't exactly encourage childhood... but that's besides the point!). Maybe we worry too much about what others will think. I know I always found it odd that parents would pierce babies ears, that just seemed odd (until Nathan reminded me that we circumcise our boys... which is a torturous decision for me every time too, if it's any consolation to whoever is reading this.) I can see the wisdom in piercing babies ears now though. Necessity, maybe not so much, but I understand better now seeing as how I'm in the position of wondering if my daughter will try and take them out!

Is it really a big deal? Do American's place a sort of "rite of passage" on piercing. Do we just want our kids to make the decisions? Are we really just worried about what others think that much?

I don't know! Thankfully for us we've already run with the decision with our only daughter and no longer have to consider if or when!! (Oh, and her being the only girl in our family may have influenced my decision as well.... she loves to play with the boys, but has her own feminine side and I have this unyielding desire to make sure that part of her gets nurtured even though I personally don't like princess stuff ). :-)

1 comment:

The Greevers Posse said...

We have had this conversation here in our home as well with having 2 daughters.

What we had come up with is to allow our girls {when at the age of accoutability} to choose for themselves whether this is something they want done to/with their bodies.

I know, to each their own, and so I post only to share another side of the same story.

btw...I too had multiple peircings...one being in my nose prior to joining the LDS church.

Thanks for sharing your story.