10 May 2011
A Little Overwhelmed
Today as I get ready for the day, I'm actually a little scared. As I consider what I want to do and how to inspire my children my mind has drawn a blank. I spent some time reading through past Daily Inspire emails that I get through Tjed Online to try and gain some needed inspiration and I'm just stuck! I think I've read so much about curriculum's that people are starting that I'm doubting myself.... add to that the fact that I'm just getting back to running my household, and it's a recipe for disaster. (Speaking of which, if you remember my post on Learning to Work might I throw in that RETEACHING your children all those lovely habits after they have done little more than veg in front of the computer for about a month is not fun... it's even less fun than the initial learning process. Unfortunately, despite my desperate plea that the children at least do their daily stewardships while I was down, my husband was a little to overwhelmed himself and the children didn't do anything. And I blame them getting the stomach flu on the fact that not everything was wiped down at least once a week with Clorox Anywhere Spray. Regardless, it is all really my fault, I've made my husband pretty obsolete as far as doing things around the house and I actually don't apologize for that but the explanation will probably have to have it's own post! Here's to hoping things work like clockwork after this baby comes and the children don't need the directions to get their work finished.... they would have this time but the computer spoiled their brains.) :-)
So, as to my difficulties today as I contemplate facing my children. My husband and I have a vision for our children. We have desires and hopes for them that they will cultivate a love for learning and an appreciation for the world around them. We desire that they will learn to work for what they receive and understand that they are a part of humanity and that they need to give just as much or more than they get. Our vision of life down the road includes scholarly discussions with children who come to us with topics that they've chosen and set off to engross themselves in and enrich the rest of our lives with their insights. We see congregating in front of a fire or lantern and discussing the scriptures with each other. I can see everything that we want, and I normally have no problem keeping that in perspective, but my path is considerable cloudy as I try to get my life back at the moment. I'm pretty spoiled, we decided early on that we wanted to homeschool, and we figured out when our oldest was 3 that the Thomas Jefferson Education Philosophy made the most sense to us. So, we've never had to "come off the conveyor belt" and reprogram our children.... until now. My children need to be reprogramed and I fear that my lack of energy will take us no where. Which then leads me to want to rely on some kind of curriculum, which is fine but can get very convoluted very quickly so that makes me a little leery.
Solution? Well, I have no idea... hence sending my thoughts out into the abyss :-). I know that baby steps will at least do something, so I'm going to focus on reading and trying to help draw my children in today. While breakfast is getting ready we'll open the scriptures, and after breakfast I'll set a timer to see how much of a stewardship we can get finished in 15 minutes, and then I think we'll grab our Little House in the Big Woods book that we've been reading aloud and perhaps I'll pull out a puzzle or some pattern blocks that little hands can play with while we learn about the Ingall's life (which we think is pretty fascinating.)
Anyway, I know we'll get where we're going so long as we never stop. I don't want to miss the learning and teaching opportunities that are available to me and my children at this time in their life, but I thought you should know that I get overwhelmed too! I definitely have had a lot of "what am I doing?!" moments lately and I felt like my readers needed to see the imperfection that lays beyond my carefree exterior. I do know that I'm the best teacher for my children (well, not at the moment, but that's just one of those deep down truths that I can't change despite myself and will eventually re-realize when the superficial stuff that's bogging my mind wears away), so pressing onward we must go!