Acceptable Losses

It's funny. My husband suggested while I was trying to get my life back together and he was getting ready to leave that I write a blog on "acceptable losses." How dare he! *laugh* You have to understand, my husband and I both suffer from Obsessive Compulsiveness. Being the parents of many little ones, many of which are boys that I end up being nauseous with for 9 months, and having moved over 9 times in the last 7 years of marriage, we've learned to tone it down... but when stress hits the family, watch out! It's not uncommon to see one or both of us frantically cleaning/scrubbing something at a ridiculous time of day, well, more like night/early morning. In one day as we were pulling something together in preparation for him to leave he suggests this topic. I really can only be so offended. Of course I want to do EVERYTHING, but let's face it, there has to be acceptable losses in your life regardless of circumstance.

For instance, in my life as I currently know it, I'm a single parent of 4 children under the age of 5 and pregnant with another boy (yay! but that also means I'm pretty sick most of the time), and I'm a homeschooling mom trying to keep her house from falling apart (I had to stock up on frozen food the week before last, that was a low point for me!). Anyway, over the last month that my husband has been away I've been trying to at least try and keep my house and family together. I generally don't go out much, or make sure that my children have earned the outings/time with friends that come up, but still I can't handle much. I think this last week I've consciously decided to shake down my expectations. Honestly I sat down this morning and thought to myself "what do I really care about?" I think when it comes down to it I realized that I need to make sure I keep control of dishes and floors, and everything else can pretty much fall away and we'd be okay! Those areas sanitary and nice has to be good enough for me.... otherwise I'm a crazy person!

My children are having a difficult time with their dad being gone this time around, and trying to motivate them to clean like they did before with very little energy myself and them having not worked at much around the house for 6 weeks has not played out well! Cleaning the house like I'd like seriously takes all week and then some. Even with very little in their rooms my children have taken HOURS to clean. Huh? Anyway, my priorities had to be shaken up before things got out of control.

Right now I'm allowing for a lot of losses! And that's okay! My home needs to feel good, be sanitary and healthy, but that doesn't mean that I have to have every spot on everything absolutely clean before we do anything else as a family. (That doesn't mean it won't be the case later on in life!) But as for this stage, I have a few things that need to be taken care of in this house, and other than that WE PLAY! :-).

With losses come gains.... what have I gained? Special time with each one of my children. My husband and I love our children so much! We love that we've been blessed with so many and we really have prayed and hope for more. With each child and each change in my life I'm constantly readjusting! Story of every parent's life right? How could it not be! Each child is different and the responsibility to raise them is HUGE! Add to that homeschooling and essentially being together 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and you can see your weaknesses real fast! I think one of the things that I've really needed is to reconnect with my children and to STAY connected. We have good days, then I have and OCD snap and I need everything cleaned. So, I have to have plans in place to make sure that I stay connected with these amazing tiny humans. That's a really long winded way of saying:

-I sat down with each child individually and asked them what goals they wanted to work on i.e. what they wanted to learn or what they'd want to do just the two of us.

They were thrilled! Everyone gets at least 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted mom time everyday. No really, everyone else gets tuned out and you have to be profusely bleeding or the like in order to be addressed. I can't have all my kids in the kitchen so this allows me to work just one on one with whoever wants to cook with me, I also have a "great excuse" to just sit and play chess with my oldest, or help my 3 year old learn how to read (his goal, not mine). Each child needs that time individually and then collectively I'm just trying to focus on reading, and making religion something that is truly a part of them and something they know is the top priority in our home.

All we do should be to keep our children in a close relationship with their Father. How can that be conveyed through a stressful home environment? While I believe a house of order is of great importance, I also know that contention is not of God and cannot be tolerated in the relationship I have with my children or the relationship they have with each other. The result is spending way more time on the things that matter most: scriptures, hymns, family relationships, working together, and trying to find opportunities to serve others.

I know, I know, I always find the most simple, "no duh" answers to my problems, but it's those things that really work. Who cares that my home is spotless if my children and I have a disastrous relationship in doing so. Repaired relationships will go a long way into getting to the point where we can have the spotless home... but first things first!

So, what else have I been doing? Well, reading of course! I've really enjoyed my latest reads:

-A Love that Multiplies, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
-Raising Real Men, Hal and Melanie Young
-God Wants a Powerful People, Sherri Dew
-Teach Ye Diligently, Boyd K Packer

And I've really enjoyed the New Testament study guide, Scripture Study for Latter-day Saint Families, that was suggested on the LDS Mother's Education course list. I actually taught some 8/9 year olds in primary the last two weeks and this guide really helped me infuse some great questions and thoughts into the lessons.

So, that's a quick rundown of what's happened around here! (As not quick as it was :-D).

I guess the one thing that I would say to you, is in perhaps not so many words, what are your acceptable losses? I see people running around every which way taking kids here and there and are overly stressed because of it... is every activity or even any worth the extra tension in your home? Is making sure that every page or problem of a worksheet is finished really worth the struggle? I feel more and more each day that I am in a battle for the heart's of my children. I need to be steadfast and immovable, loving, and humble. *laugh* I need to be a walking contradiction! :-). At the end of the day, what was important? When I talk to my husband is it important that I give him a rundown of all that the children did "for school" that day, or is an emphasis on the gospel discussions we've had, and the out of the blue connections my children make with life and gospel principles while we go about our day the kind of things we focus on? I loved a post I read on Latter-day Homeschooling this morning by a writer who's a single mom, it's called Structuring Our Day for Eternity. She's a better writer than I, so I hope you'll bop over there and read her posts to see how she connects and talks about each subject of learning related to the gospel. Perspective is everything!

What are you willing to lose at this point in your life to help you focus on what matters most? If you don't know, I can promise you that spending some time on your knees will make it very clear!

Children's Rights

A while back I was asked to address the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child (CRC) ('Cliff notes here'). This request was made by Eric Potter who runs a great blog that you can find here:http://parentalrightstn.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I hadn't really thought too much about this at the time because we were pretty knee deep in DOMA and other things legislation-wise that had me calling my representatives (and writing here about it and getting my husband to bug his representatives and calling to convince my family and friends to get on the phone too!... Man, that makes me sound obnoxious... If you're just now joining my blog be warned, but I promise I'm worth it, or at least I hope I am!) So, what makes me think of this now? I had came across two passages in my reading today in two completely different places that jolted my mind right back here. So, sorry for the delay Eric, but thank you for your request.

First and foremost you have to understand that I'm leery of new legislation in general. I grow concerned over government control that seems to be effecting every aspect of our lives (don't believe me? Google the Nebo school district in UT and their plans to monitor your whole families eating habits. I wonder what happens when the data you provide doesn't match what 'they' want? Then look up children getting weighed in front of their peers at school? Are we looking for public ridicule here to move us to action/change in health? I'm pretty sure the bullies have enough ammo if your child is overweight, they don't need numbers. And CA, oh dear sweet CA, now the schools are in charge of deeming if your child is under or overweight. And if they are? You are REQUIRED to take them to the Dr and to follow their rules and noncompliance will get you reported to CPS. Good intentioned, yes, scary slippery slope to losing your child? Yes!! I may be pro health/fitness and good diet and teach my children the same, for better or worse they've been exposed to so much that they'll give you lectures and keep you on your toes about what's in your food, but if I were to feed them fast food or could only afford the processed junk that's at the grocery store, then that's what we'd do! It doesn't change the fact that I love my children and want the best for them. I don't think them being taken to foster care even though they're eating and being cared for qualifies as abuse.) Anyway! While the cliff notes on CRC provided by good ol' UNICEF provide explanations that are 'no brainers' I can't help but read the find print.

Is anything taken at face value today? I question the interpretation given to these articles because I know how well they're written and what they'll evolve into.... And once they've evolved there's no going back to the pretty outline. Of course we want our children to feel safe and to be given the basic necessities of life (that'd be clean water, shelter, etc., sorry cell phones, computers, cars and TV's are not rights!) Does this need to be legislated? Perhaps if we lived in another country I would feel differently on this matter, but I see too far into it to feel safe pushing this act. And I've watched the unraveling of the constitution to where it's now referred to as just a "suggestion," and that bothers me.

UNICEF does great things, don't get me wrong. However, they are so pro sexualization of children it's frightening, and oddly they think they're protecting them from this! Children's rights goes beyond the fluffy exterior and straight into a world where parents no longer have control. While the articles profess that government will not overrule the parent as long as the child is being treated well, who's to say what is "well"? I feel it's not only my right but my duty to school my children in right and wrong and to guard them from what is inappropriate based on age. A free right to accessing all media as is stated in one article is just down right scary to me! I don't even think most adults need to be accessing what's available!

So, what prompted tonight's ramblings was an article I read earlier that you can find here. In a nutshell the parents of a 4 month old have not told anyone what the gender of their child is, not even grandparents. The reasoning? They don't want the child to feel pressured into being boy or girl and want the child to choose for 'it's' self who they'll be. K. I don't know what to say about this one, but it made me scratch my head and send it to my husband. Regardless of my personal thoughts though, hey, it's their kid! While I think gender defines us (I mean just about everything on the planet from humans to plants and trees are male and female), they're within their right to raise their child this way and I'm not going to be running to make a law to prohibit it :-). It's interesting to me though that we ask a child to choose a way without them really knowing their options and what the consequences are for certain chooses.

Which then was a topic in Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young. (As a side note this book is fabulous, I'm loving it and am really excited that they sent me an extra copy to Giveaway to you! I'll let you know how to win it when I write my review later this month). They brought up some very interesting points and ones that my husband and I have discussed a lot lately... especially every time we drive by the high school and the sign is flashing to go 15 MPH. Yah, the speed limit by the elementary schools is faster than that! What are we raising here? Anyway, some of the things the Young's wrote about is how we're preparing our sons. We have a reverse model of how to raise our children. 'Here, make your own choices, get all you want, but you don't have to deal with the responsibility that comes with those choices.' My favorite example from the book is how stressed our our society is that schools are serving French fries and sodas at the schools and so we worry that they'll choose those, and yet we're all for sexual education and the idea that it's totally fine for children to experiment with those behaviors. Huh? I'm pretty sure your child's choice to engage in behaviors that are emotionally out of their league and could end in BIG consequences is more pressing then if they ingest a few extra calories a day.

Basically the end point was we treat our children like children until they're 18 and then all the sudden turn them loose and wonder why they're not prepared. Conversely, given too much freedom to make choices on everything also leaves them ill prepared. Weird huh? Guess there isn't a one size fits all to this parenting thing, we actually have to spend time with our kids, figure out their individual needs and then adjust as needed. There's no amount of legislation or self-help books that is going to give you the magic key to this, you have to do the work.

So back to Children's Rights... what do you think? I personally have seen enough acts being as one thing and then turn their ugly head as soon as possible. Of course religious groups are okay with the wording, it's been written so that they would be! Duh. Might we go back to CEDAW and how accepting that has opened up the grounds for pro-abortion groups in countries that once prohibited abortion.... they were told they were violating the treaty even though there is nothing that even closely refers to abortion in the treaty!

WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!! Don't let what looks fine on the outside be a cause for you to encourage and/or look the other way. As a homeschooler I feel that my right to do so is being threatened when parents that do send their children to school allow the school/government to take a majority role in their children's lives. Are we really going to give someone else the ability to raise our child in every aspect of their lives? If we charge the schools with providing all the needs of our children guess what... THEY WILL! And do you know who becomes obsolete? YOU AND ME. Cause once they have you, they're going to want more and will come after me. Take a stand. I don't care where your child is educated, you need to do what is right for you and your own family, but please be involved! Watch what's happening around you and if you're not okay with something SPEAK UP! So many people irritate me to no end because they talk about all the horrible things their children face in school and how sad they think it is, and then pretty much end with "oh well." What? YOU HAVE POWER, YOU HAVE A VOICE... USE IT!! THE OPPOSITION IS MUCH SMALLER, BUT THEY'RE VERY LOUD AND THEY WILL WIN IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE SILENT.

My Educational Goals

I posted the other day about The Mother's Educational Course, and have been busy gathering my resources and setting my goals/plans ever since. So, this morning I actually posted my goals/plans with their yahoo group and wanted to repost them here. I'll add hyperlinks and stuff later, but I at least wanted to put up my thoughts in both places in case anyone else was looking for some encouragement or a buddy to study a long with. As a side note, I don't want anyone to feel overwhelmed by my plans... if you haven't noticed, I'm a pretty intense person when it comes to me and I don't expect others to be quite so masochistic (for instance, a marathon and Ironman triathlon are on my short list of goals fitness-wise, and my hope for you is just that you'll attempt a 5k or sprint triathlon, see... I'm realistic :-D). As for all that I have planned "educationally." you have to understand that I'm using this as a way to keep my brain busy cheaply. I REALLY wanted to do a Master's program, but couldn't find $10,000 laying around, so this is great for me and I love the focus on Divinity, I think that will make a big difference for me and my family in a way that yet another piece of paper with my name on it never will (not that I won't be going after more of those, it just isn't in the plans at the moment).
As for time, well, that is always and interesting question isn't it? I like to study/learn before my children wake up, while they're awake, while they're napping or having quiet time (if I don't have to nap myself and sometimes I get to do both), and after they go to bed. We don't watch tv, so that frees up a lot of time... with kids in bed by 7:30 that leaves some good daylight and waking hours for both my husband and I to read/research before retiring. Plus, I have to admit, the added pregnancy insomnia helps me get in a lot of extra reading! These timeframes are also what I use for exercise.... I really like this quote attributed to Thomas Jefferson: Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. I spend time teaching and being with my children, but I think it's also good for them to have the chance to see me actively doing what I'm asking of them. Anyway! Without further ado, here's how I'm going to finish out 2011 and if one or more things on my list sound like something that you'd like to do, by all means join me!:
********************************************************************************************************************************

"I figure writing things out is a good method to figuring out how I want to go
about accomplishing my goals/plans. Accountability is a good thing :-).

I spent this week collecting my resources and settling out what I need to do, so
here it goes. With just a focus on the main "core" of study:

Divinity:
-I will read at least one verse from the Book of Mormon everyday.
-I will study for Gospel Doctrine using the New Testament, my student guide
(well, the teachers guide is what's available online, so I use that), The Life
and Teachings of Jesus Christ and His Apostles (which was sitting on my shelf,
which is a bonus!), and Scripture Study for Latter-day Saint Families (which I
purchased from Seagull book Mon or Tues and just got last night, so excited!)
-I will prepare for Relief Society each week either from Gospel Principles,
Ensign, etc.
-I will read the Ensign each month cover to cover (the church has it available
to download as a book on the iPad, it's fantastic, I highly recommend it and
love that I don't have more magazines accumulating).
-I will read and memorize at least one hymn/primary song a month.
-I will read Jesus the Christ.
-I will read To The Rescue (that also came in my Seagull order).
-I will study once a week from Preach my Gospel.
-I will read whatever article is mentioned in the section on Thomas S Monson for
the month.
-And I will record my thoughts and feelings during these readings in my journal.

Education:
-I will read an article from the Education and Literacy section under provident
living each month.
-I will read an article from The Parents Review each month.
-I will read Charlotte Mason Vol 3.
-I will read Teach ye Diligently (I'm REALLY excited about this one after
reading the reviews on goodreads and can't wait for it to get here!)
-I will read Arm the Children (which I've wanted to read for some time, I've
heard it is wonderful and what's not to love about the title? Definitely
applicable, can't wait for that to get here too!)

Music/Art
-I will learn to play the Mandolin (waiting for my beginners book to get here...
the poor mandolin has been traipsing the world with us for 10 years, so glad to
get a kick to learn it, which I'm hoping will inspire my husband to learn it
too. He bought it before we were married but hasn't taken the time to learn
it... my kids are fascinated by it too. Here's to starting a new family
tradition! Hopefully the husbands guitar skills will rub off on me along the
way too.)
-I will set up a practice schedule each day to practice even 10 minutes.
-I will play for our family talent show at the end of the year.
-I will improve my piano playing as well.

Langauge (Japanese)
-I will learn the alphabet, numbers 1-100, and 50 nouns.
-I will learn 1 song.
-I will read 2 books in the Book of Mormon.

and I will work towards:
-reading 5 books in the Book of Mormon.
-knowing 150 nouns, 50 verbs & conjugates, 25 adjectives, 25 phrases and numbers
1-1 million.
-knowing 6 songs
-and reading 1 Liahona

and then to:
-reading the whole Book of Mormon
-reading 3 Liahonas
-knowing 12 sonds
-reciting the Articles of Faith
-and practicing with a native speaker (or my perfectionist husband and other
returned missionaries from Japan.)

In order to fulfill my language goals I will continue using
http://hiraganamama.wordpress.com/ who I found and have been dependent on since
the beginning of the year when I first set out to teach myself and my children
Japanese. I'll also be using alphabet and other children's books that my
husband sent back from Japan when he was working there last year.
I also ordered my own Japanese Book of Mormon, a family hymnal, and a copy of
Gospel Principles to use in my studies, and I will continue to use our
children's songbook that we've had since my oldest was a baby (I'm slow, but we
know about 3 songs from memory).

I know there's a lot set out before me, but I do believe that as we strive and
continue to go forward that our ability to handle hard things and to improve and
increase in learning gets magnified. I'm excited for this opportunity to focus
my thoughts and honestly the biggest blessing is being able to structure and
fulfill things that I've already wanted to do! So, thank you for mapping things
out so my brain didn't have to, and now armed with almost all my resources I'm
reading to go forward!

I Can Finally See My Followers!

Okay, so with that being said, the winners of a $10 Amazon gift card are.......

#8 Shawntae Hartson

and

#32 Clover and Steven Espinoza!


Thank you both for helping me get the numbers that I needed to apply for TOS's Homeschool Crew! Please leave me a message with where I should send your card and I hope you put it towards something fun!

Good Things Coming!!

So, after my last post I've been trying to get my life back... and in between midday naps and crazy nausea (my poor husband, he really wants a girl, but if this doesn't quit in the next week or two I'm pretty sure we'll be welcoming another boy! Our one and only daughter is the only time that I wasn't sick for 9 months and got to enjoy some of the "oh, you'll feel much better in the second trimester" comments that the liars told me when pregnant with my first (a boy). The only relief I got with him and subsequent males is when they were born... I guess we'll really be solidifying the trend if this keeps up!) , okay, refocusing, I've done a pretty good job of getting things back together.

Last week some saintly friends took our children, (the older two to one friend and the younger two to another), and we were able to go to the LDS temple in Albuquerque which is a good little drive from here, so we stayed the night at a nearby Air Force base, it was great! The one thought that kept popping into my mind while I was there was about my education and spiritual goals and how that would influence my children, shocking huh? *laugh* Here I am pulling my hair out not knowing how things are going to come together but really feeling like I just need to do something and who knew? That was my answer. GET GOING. Sunday comes and just my oldest son and I go to church (we had one runny nose, a perpetually screaming child, and one that just wanted to spend time with dad since he has to leave soon), so it was a fairly quiet meeting. The overall spirit of the room was oddly calming and inspiring, the talks were on goals (anyone else feel like they catered this just to me?), and I got hit by the thought that I needed to come home and take a look at A Mother's Educational Course for Latter-day Saints. I found this website a while ago and thought it was incredible so I joined their yahoo group, got all jazzed and year after year I have not actually written out goals and determined to follow the schedules these amazing women have put together. I get updates in my email, so I've pretty much stalked this group for over 3 YEARS, and I was not even remotely thinking about them at the time this thought popped into my head. So... I guess that was my sign it was time that I make some strides to get on board with them! I wrote an introduction to them on Sunday when I got home so now I would be accountable and not hiding in the background, and I've ordered books and resources to help me stay on task and increase my knowledge. I have to tell you I'M TERRIFIED. Which for me means that I'm on the right road to stability for myself and family and the adversary is going to play head games with me until I can officially start and shut him down. I may be a bit overwhelmed, but not in the way I was last week... this is different. I'm different. I'm excited and so impressed that this was sitting right in front of me all along and the whole last month and getting knocked down to what felt like nothing opened the door to where I was finally able accept and embrace something different in my life. I'm usually able to direct everything myself, but I needed this to help find some direction so that I could do that once more, and my Father knew where I needed to look.

Anyway! I feel like this is the answer I've been looking for both me and my children and wanted to share it with you. The course outlines and everything being offered is free (which is my favorite number!) I appreciate the kick and redirection as well as the ability to interact with others embarking on your same field of study or studies, and there's a certain element of encouragement and accountability that is sometimes lacking in your everyday life. So, that's my first good thing that I'm working on!

Secondly.... drum roll!!!!!!!!

I MADE THE TOS CREW FOR THE 2011-2012 SCHOOL YEAR! I'm really excited about this! I've enjoyed reading review posts over at Our Busy Homeschool and have wanted to have the opportunity to share some of the same experiences with my children. As TJed-er's of sorts, we don't really have too many "set" things throughout the day or curriculum that we rely on too much. We like a lot of things and find them to be great resources, but we change at a moments notice and just try to have fun and enjoy things as they come. I felt like reviewing curriculums/products would be especially fun because when something showed up we'd have something most likely completely new and that I hadn't thought of (I'm not really a creative person, can you tell?) So! I thought this would be great for all of us here to shake things up especially during times when dad is away, so I'm super excited to have found out that I made it! From what I know we should start getting things to review come June, and I can't wait to share those with you!

Which then leads me to finally rewarding my followers for their efforts to help get me to the minimum number of followers needed so that I could apply in the first place! I don't have the cool little box thing that other giveaways have, I'll have to find that sometime, but here is the data from the website I use to randomize the winners, that's right! Because I'm excited about my new direction I'm giving away 2 Amazon gift cards!

Research Randomizer Results

1 Set of 2 Unique Numbers Per Set
Range: From 1 to 33 -- Unsorted

Job Status:

Set #1:
32, 8


So.... well, I was going to tell you who had those numbers but I can't for the life of me pull up my followers at the moment wither through blogger or on my page, weird! Okay, well, stay tuned for the next post and I'll let you know that and then you can send me your information so I can get you your card! You'll have 48 hours to claim your prize (that way I know you are really reading this ramble :-D), after that I'll be picking another winner and so on until both cards are claimed. Good luck!

A Little Overwhelmed

Today as I get ready for the day, I'm actually a little scared. As I consider what I want to do and how to inspire my children my mind has drawn a blank. I spent some time reading through past Daily Inspire emails that I get through Tjed Online to try and gain some needed inspiration and I'm just stuck! I think I've read so much about curriculum's that people are starting that I'm doubting myself.... add to that the fact that I'm just getting back to running my household, and it's a recipe for disaster. (Speaking of which, if you remember my post on Learning to Work might I throw in that RETEACHING your children all those lovely habits after they have done little more than veg in front of the computer for about a month is not fun... it's even less fun than the initial learning process. Unfortunately, despite my desperate plea that the children at least do their daily stewardships while I was down, my husband was a little to overwhelmed himself and the children didn't do anything. And I blame them getting the stomach flu on the fact that not everything was wiped down at least once a week with Clorox Anywhere Spray. Regardless, it is all really my fault, I've made my husband pretty obsolete as far as doing things around the house and I actually don't apologize for that but the explanation will probably have to have it's own post! Here's to hoping things work like clockwork after this baby comes and the children don't need the directions to get their work finished.... they would have this time but the computer spoiled their brains.) :-)

So, as to my difficulties today as I contemplate facing my children. My husband and I have a vision for our children. We have desires and hopes for them that they will cultivate a love for learning and an appreciation for the world around them. We desire that they will learn to work for what they receive and understand that they are a part of humanity and that they need to give just as much or more than they get. Our vision of life down the road includes scholarly discussions with children who come to us with topics that they've chosen and set off to engross themselves in and enrich the rest of our lives with their insights. We see congregating in front of a fire or lantern and discussing the scriptures with each other. I can see everything that we want, and I normally have no problem keeping that in perspective, but my path is considerable cloudy as I try to get my life back at the moment. I'm pretty spoiled, we decided early on that we wanted to homeschool, and we figured out when our oldest was 3 that the Thomas Jefferson Education Philosophy made the most sense to us. So, we've never had to "come off the conveyor belt" and reprogram our children.... until now. My children need to be reprogramed and I fear that my lack of energy will take us no where. Which then leads me to want to rely on some kind of curriculum, which is fine but can get very convoluted very quickly so that makes me a little leery.

Solution? Well, I have no idea... hence sending my thoughts out into the abyss :-). I know that baby steps will at least do something, so I'm going to focus on reading and trying to help draw my children in today. While breakfast is getting ready we'll open the scriptures, and after breakfast I'll set a timer to see how much of a stewardship we can get finished in 15 minutes, and then I think we'll grab our Little House in the Big Woods book that we've been reading aloud and perhaps I'll pull out a puzzle or some pattern blocks that little hands can play with while we learn about the Ingall's life (which we think is pretty fascinating.)

Anyway, I know we'll get where we're going so long as we never stop. I don't want to miss the learning and teaching opportunities that are available to me and my children at this time in their life, but I thought you should know that I get overwhelmed too! I definitely have had a lot of "what am I doing?!" moments lately and I felt like my readers needed to see the imperfection that lays beyond my carefree exterior. I do know that I'm the best teacher for my children (well, not at the moment, but that's just one of those deep down truths that I can't change despite myself and will eventually re-realize when the superficial stuff that's bogging my mind wears away), so pressing onward we must go!

Running Crazy

Nothing like an attempt to get moving to make you feel a little crazy, regardless of where you're starting from! My husband always does something to get his heart rate up, even if it's a 20 minute go on the treadmill, and states the the problem with American's is that we think we have to do big grand things and then when our schedules and life get in the way of our plan and then we do nothing instead of even just a little something. Does that make sense?

Anyway, for a lot of people just getting started with some kind of fitness routine and sometimes the whole staying with that and putting it as a priority is tough! I'm with yah! I was never a runner until my brain conjured up visions of being one after baby #4, and viola, a crazed runner was born! I've put more mileage in over the last year that I have over the course of my whole life! The husband also made an observation about why it's so hard to get started.... because it is! After recovering from hernia surgery at the beginning of the year and being down for about 6 weeks, my man that used to run 7-8 miles daily was now having a really hard time getting back. So, it just confirmed to him that you really just have to stick with something to get good at it. It is hard for a bit, and then it gets easy! Simple, I know, but it's the truth! Feel free to test out our hypothesis :-).

Okay, so why I'm really writing this is because I'm going out of my mind! *laugh* (I don't know that I was ever officially IN my mind, but you know what I mean!) We hit the track yesterday as a family, and even though I had intentions to walk I at least wanted to TRY to get a few 'jogged' steps in. Yah, at about 3 I realized that this just wasn't going to happen, OH THE PAIN! Yes, yes, I can walk, so I did that for about 3 miles, but I really miss running these days! I couldn't do my last triathlon of the season in April because I was recovering, so I'm planning to do a 5k next month (I knew I was going to do that puppy even if I had to crawl! At least I can walk :-)). But I really would like to go faster than that! I may not win my age category like I did last year, but the competitor in me would really like to at least finish before those that are doing the 10k get back!

Turns out your body heals REALLY slowly while you're pregnant. Boo! I realized that my stitches still haven't gone away, so the internal healing is super slow.... which may have something to do with the whole stomach muscles naturally expanding plus having to mend. Anyway, my irritation is your gain. I've found fun stuff that motivates me even though I can't do a whole lot at the moment!

Cafe Press has some awesome shirts, they're great quality and I got mine at a super discount thanks to active.com:


I found some Running Skirts and there's even longer ones that are more modest:

I picked up a couple books:
Kara Goucher's Running for Women (she actually suggested running skirts, hence me looking. The husband thinks they're weird, I think it might be comfy and worth a try!) Anyway, her book is pretty straight forward, nothing fancy. Just encouragement and what she's done. A few training and eating ideas and some extra information for pregnancy and after... it's kind of comforting to know that she went a little nuts not being able to move as well as before too!


Michael Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma and Food Rules. Both very well done. Michael is an investigative journalist who started researching food a few years back and has come up with a lot of the same realizations that many of you reading this have. His overall message is "eat food, not too much and mostly plants." It's nice to be reminded of why we we do the things we do. I mean buying organic and plant material for an ever growing family is not a cheap venture, but both my husband and I know that it's important, so we budget more for food now and stay away from processed stuff so that we don't have to pay the dr.'s bills later :-)




I revamped a quote that was bugging me:
This bugs me to no end! I get what they're trying to say, but I don't like the message. So, on the little white board in my kitchen I changed it to "Nothing tastes as good as being healthy and fit feels!" Hey, there are plenty of sick skinny people in the world. Being healthy and strong has very little to do with being skinny! I want my children to grow up strong and confident in who they are regardless of size. Standing at all of 5'6" my super active husband with the nickname "PT Nazi" (lovingly given to him by the people that he would run into the ground for physical training) is considered overweight on the BMI scale. He is the picture of health and can run circles around people, myself included. On the flip side, I have a friend who's daughter is within the BMI recommendations and she is sick, she's too skinny and thinks she should be more so and that's leading to eating disorders at a very young age. So, health is the main goal here!

I found out that the Air Force Marathon in Ohio is a qualifying race for Boston (neither race is on a Sunday!!! That's huge!)

And last but not least, I found a blog of an old friend who started a series called 5k Friday. I find it motivating, and Darci is quite possibly the most creative person on the planet, so she's worth taking a look at! She's also the reason I went out and picked up food rules because of a post that she did on it here.


K, so, those are the things that have been on my mind and I've used to try and soothe the fact that I'm just not at the point that I can run yet. However, I can do SOMETHING and so can you! I like to take the kids out and we walk 2-3 miles. If you can run/walk stairs for 10 minutes or to a few jumping jacks, or pop in a fitness DVD (I'm still a BIG fan of Lindsay Brin at www.momsintofitness.com/">momsintofitness.com and she has some free 5 minute web clips you can workout with. Her regular DVD's are broken down too so that you don't have to spend much time and you get a great workout! The kids can join if you want, or you can do it before they wake up/at naptime/or when they're in bed.

JUST DO SOMETHING! And let me know what you did :-). I really like to hear about people signing up for events... they're awesome, motivating, and I personally found out that last year that I can't live without them and that they're worth every penny! There's nothing like putting down a registration fee to get your moving regardless of how tired and unwilling you are to do something... I'm not going to lose that cash! I realized that even with a husband who is rarely home, and lots of tiny children (including one who was only 2 months when I started training for my first triathlon) I didn't want to have to be scraped off the course, so I'd better get to work! Find a goal, write it down, be accountable to someone, and go for it! Your body and your family and friends thank you for taking that time to make sure you'll be around to enjoy life with them for years to come!

Why I Don't Do Tests Offered in Pregnancy, and Then A LIttle More

So, I'm weird right? Let's just start there....

This last week I had an appointment with my midwife and it was the first time that we had met her (the husband was able to come with me). Now, one of the most important questions that we ever ask, yes, it's very near and dear to both of us, is what the provider thinks about the glucose test. **If you're unfamiliar with this test, it's usually given sometime in the 2nd trimester (between 24-28 weeks) and involves drinking a sugar mixture, then you wait an hour, do a blood draw, and from that you can kind of get an idea how your body is handling sugar. However, if you fail this test or it's inconclusive then you get the joy of a 3 hour test... drink sugar, sit for 3 hours, then blood draw.**

Now, I learned with my first pregnancy that we would be denying any screening of our baby beyond a basic ultrasound. After discussing options with our OB then we realized that half or more of the tests the offered are likely to give false-positives or false-negatives, so we really didn't see the point. Additionally, the very thought of an amniocentesis (a big long needle being stuck in your belly to extract fluid) to confirm a diagnosis that may or may not be true and that may or may not cause a miscarriage, just wasn't for us. If you do these tests that's fine by me, it's your body, not mine, you do what's right for you. MIght I throw out that my current midwife has seen over 300 positive tests for downs syndrome and that only 2 of those babies actually had it when they were born and 1 other baby she delivered had it and the test was negative? She said it was pretty terrible because the positive results really affected the bonding between the parents and child beforehand and caused some rocky roads. Anyway! That was just what I picked up this week, thankfully we realized early on our own that the stress and pressure of dealing that kind of information would be just too much and that we'd rather just deal with things as the come!

K, so the one thing that I didn't have worked out before the first baby (besides don't let people bully/scare you into an epidural, even if they're closely related to you maternally *cough* Even though my oldest is 6 I can still feel where the epidural was, no thanks! Hello natural childbirth my old friend! I'll take some pain and immediate relief once they're out any day!), okay, I'm focusing now, the one thing that I didn't have worked out was the whole glucose test thing. They said I needed it, I was nervous since I know better than to just shoot up straight sugar without having something to balance it out, but we really need to know if I have gestational diabetes because that could affect mine and baby's health... yah, I now know that's just what silly people say :-).

Alright, don't get in an uproar, yes, diabetes is serious and can cause large babies etc., but let's talk a walk down common sense lane shall we?? Have you gained an abnormal amount of weight? Are you measuring larger than you should despite how old an ultrasound says baby is? Do you have diabetes in your family? Have you had diabetes in previous pregnancies??

For MOST people, the answer is no to all of these! Do you know the percentage of women that actually have gestational diabetes? It's somewhere between 3-10% depending on the demographics of the area you're looking at. The most correct average I've seen lays around 6%. So.... we test 100% of pregnant women with this horrendous test because 6% might have it?? This is a fairly new phenomenon, the whole testing everyone thing. Before you were only tested if you answered yes to those questions above there. There is no woman that I've ever talked to that had glowing reviews of this test. Personally, I almost puked (which means you get to start all over again!), and the very thought of having to do the 3 hour test made me a ball of tears.

So, since that time I've denied the glucose test, and have come in contact with some really nasty people :-). In Korea the lady was so upset I got a good lecture, through which I stayed calm and I'm pretty sure she hated that more than anything else I could have done. She then informed me that I had to sign a waiver, to which I smiled and said okay, and that was that. Subsequently I've met some interesting people that are more holistic but still think that it's important (Yah, sorry, unless there's some huge red flag waiving about me that you think I absolutely need to take this test... yes, I would do it then.... then the answer is no), and others who I just down right catch of guard.

Here's what I've learned:
-For 25 years the medical community has known that you can use jelly beans for this lovely test. However, if you take all the information in the world to your provider they won't think anything of it. It's true though! The research is there! (this test was suggested by the more holistic midwife who surprised me with her adamants that I take the test in the first place... and then we moved and the midwife here gave me more stats as to why a blanket test for everyone was silly).
-And secondly, I don't know what it's called but there's a blood test (no sugar added :-D), that you can have drawn which gives an accurate reading of your blood for the past 3 months then the glucose test every will. I'm really not going to speculate as to why we're being subjected to a less affective test than what's available, but as always I'm thinking money probably has something to do with it.

Anyway! Ladies, do your research! Be in control of your health whatever it may be. The treatment plans for gestational diabetes involve eating right and in right portions, exercise, and monitoring baby. Really? I need a test to tell me to do what I need to be doing anyway? Maybe you do! I don't know. The point of the matter is, that I think the whole business of having babies has become so complicated and medical that people don't know where to start! I seriously got a bag on my first visit to the office that had baby formula and 10 magazines. Things you should take to the hospital, what to do about xyz. It was incredible! My favorite part?? A lot of the information was conflicting :-).

Having babies is a natural thing, promise. I'm so grateful for people that have knowledge on how to intervene when things go awry (cause they sometimes do, that's why we have ours naturally but in a hospital), but for the most part, just relax! Eat as well as you can... sometimes I can't eat at all and sometimes I need more food then I think I should eat... try to stay active, drink water and enjoy life! And remember, this baby is YOURS. Call the shots and don't let anyone pressure you or scare you into making a choice, know your options and what you can handle and make sure your spouse is on board.

Want a for instance? I am a REALLY harsh critic of pitocin. I have several friends that don't go into labor without it (including a really cute mom of 10 I met when I was pregnant with our first), so don't judge me here, I do know it has it's place and if I absolutely had to have it for some medical emergency then we'd acquiesce. However! I think my second child and the experience I had delivering her saved my forth child's life.

We had just moved back from Korea, the husband was going to be school through the Air Force full time and our daughter was due about the 2nd week of school. I have a sister who literally planned all 6 of her kids thanks to pitocin, so we figured it wouldn't be a big deal to induce her on a Friday so that the husband could have a few days off with me before going back to school (we also had a 15 month old at the time). I still get nervy when I think of all the contractions that I felt with her and how hard they were hitting on top of each other, it just wasn't right! Something went wrong with the epidural, although they don't know what and now I'm pretty sure it was just Heavenly Father saying "remember this!", so I felt everything. They got things situated, I fell asleep for a little bit, then the next thing I know nurses are flying around me and putting an oxygen mask on me. It was pretty scary, I had no idea what was going on and I didn't care for having that thing on. Turns out our daughter's blood pressure had dropped pretty severely so now they were trying to do what they could to keep from having to do a c-section. What?? I didn't even know that was a possibility. Well! I do now, and a whole lot more.

So, baby #3 we just decide to go all natural, didn't take any classes and everything was great. It was all new territory so things were a little scary (I had NO idea what transition was going to be like or how long it would last, or what it was!), so when contractions hit on top of each other without letting me relax and I was just told that I was like a 5 or 6 I wasn't sure I could last, then wouldn't you know, they checked 5 minutes later and then rushed to get the Dr. because this baby was ready!

Baby #4 had a funny delivery. Labor started and stopped a few days before he was born, then I woke up one morning and my water had broke.... which was weird because that's never happened before right before baby is born.... I'd have really strong contractions, then nothing, and that lasted ALL DAY LONG whereas normally from 1st contraction to baby for me is pretty quick. We didn't understand. I was dilating slowly but surely, but things would just stop. I was asked from 12 hours from water breaking on if I wanted to start pitocin and was happy to turn them away for hours! I knew from our little girl that stuff wasn't any good! Then when he was actually born (I just decided that he was ready at one point and decided to push contraction or not), there was a true knot in his cord! It only happens in 1% of births, and I was just lucky I guess :-). Immediately the midwife explains that she's heard before about the body slowly and starting pregnancy because it knows that if things move too quickly that knot will pull tight and there goes baby's life support! BIG NOTE TO SELF, if they would have started pitocin it would have moved him too fast and could have potential caused an emergency situation. (*I"ll spare you a picture of an umbilical cord, but this is exactly what happens to it when there's a true knot).

So, get educated, learn from experience and enjoy the ride!

TOS Review - The Curiosity FIles

I'm excited for the opportunity to review The Curiosity Files that is put out by The Old Schoolhouse. I received an E-book on the Platypus and I have to tell you, I'm pretty impressed! I had never heard of this series before, but it looks like there are about 9 "books" and you can take a look at those here: The Schoolhouse Store.

So! What was so impressive?? First off, after downloading the file I realized that I was looking at an 87 page PDF, I definitely didn't expect that. How much could one really delve into on the Platypus? Well, I learned a lot and quite frankly I'm science challenged so this was an experience that had me looking to find out what other subjects "Professor Ana Lyze, Expert in Outlandish Oddities" had to offer because she had really done her work!

What's more, is that I quickly realized that this curriculum was extremely Family Friendly! Included in this e-book you'll find information and activities that are made with your Elementary through High School student in mind. Honestly, besides reading and discussing the classics, I have yet to find any curriculum that is actually tailored specifically for each learning level in your home without having to buy extra packets along the way. I think the other appeal for me on this one is that because of this set up, I'll be able to use this same book for years to come! With 4 children and 1 on the way it's VERY appealing for me to know that when my younger children start on the basic information, that my older children can still be involved with our studies but in a way that builds upon their current knowledge and challenges them so that they don't get bored from doing and hearing the same things over and over again!

Next, I was pretty taken back by the pricing (since I was definitely out to buy some more once I saw this one!), and at $6.95 I think this product is a steal! (Some of the other Curiosity Files are going for $1 right now!) Additionally, I read on the TOS website that all of their e-books come with a 7 day 100% guarantee.... so, if you don't LOVE your product, they will happily refund your money. You really can't lose with that, they really stand by their products.


Okay, so what do you get in The Curiosity Files: Platypus E-book?
-You get all the information you could possibly want to ever know about the platypus in addition to full color pictures of everything from the platypus itself to how it feeds it's young to different photos that relate to your child (food, other children, letters, etc.). You'll receive complete information on what the platypus eats, where it lives, and walk through the many mysterious parts of the animal that made it tricky to classify as to whether it was a mammal, or a bird.
-You get questions AND answers (answers in the back of the packet of course :-D), to test what your child is retaining... if you feel so inclined to do so. They could use it just as a normal worksheet while you're doing something for a younger sibling, or as a family you can just sit and chat about the answers... which is more our style, I'm not a big fan of worksheets unless it's a collaborative effort. I like that this gives you options!
-You get application into other subjects:
**Math: For example, figuring out a table of how much food family members would need in one night to eat 30% of their weight and then figuring out how many pounds of flour that would be. There's a challenge to find a recipe with lima beans and double it... and of course make it, because that would be the most fun part! Right in the packet as well you can count by 10's, figure out probabilities, do a worksheet on sunrise and sunset and more. Again, you can find what projects are best for your child's age(s).
**English: There are limericks to play with and they are well dissected so that you know how to write your own, there's spelling and vocabulary lists for all grade levels, younger children can draw pictures of what they find most interesting about the platypus and for older children there are prompts to write about their favorites and link to a website that helps give an idea of how to write funny riddles. Children can also fill in missing vowels for words that they've learned, do a word search and crossword, and junior/high school students can spot misspelled vocabulary words and write those words in reverse alphabetical order (I may or may not have done this myself to give my brain something tricky to work on... keeps you young right?)

And every child's favorite: ACTIVITIES! This book is chalk full of them! You may need to purchase a few items if you're like me... there's a great section on the nervous system, and they walk you through making a neuron, but I don't keep marshmallows and fruit by the foot-like food on hand, so those kinds of things are special. For the most part there are art supplies and other extras that I'm sure you'll have laying around. I really like that there are pictures for all of the activities and there are quite a lot of things to do! You'll color pictures (links provided for extras but there is a platypus to color right in the book), design a coin, be encouraged to write in your nature journal (or start one if you haven't already! :-D), test out map skills, learn about the olympics (the platypus was the mascot at the 2000 games, I had no idea!). you'll craft paper bag puppets and model them out of clay (which I need to buy as well, but playdough works well in a pinch... my children aren't picky, but I think it would be fun and be more sturdy, and for the recycler in you there's an activity that shows your child how to turn a cereal box into a duck-billed platypus! There are a ton of activities here and we'll be doing a lot of them this week since we didn't get to do as much this last month as I wanted to this month thanks to a crazy start.

Speaking of which! The whole emergency surgery thing, recovery, and knowing that November will be yet another tricky month with a new baby and bouts of nausea along the way, I have REALLY enjoyed having this product. I printed it out so that I could easily grab what I needed and we could just sit and discuss and look at pictures, or have a list of things that needed to be gathered right in front of me that I could send the children to go and get. Easy, yes, easy is the operative word here. I wasn't really up for getting together my own information over the last few weeks, which is what I would normally do to save a buck, but at these inexpensive prices and the completeness of the e-book (LOVE the internal hyperlinks that automatically take you to whatever outside source you may need), this is one of those products that keeps the children learning/having fun/exploring new things, with very little effort on the homeschooling parents part. It is also very accessible so I can give information to my husband and he could easily take over (I'm a little more hesitant about him doing things like spelling, math, etc., he just doesn't know the technique, that's my job :-D), so this he can take over and have fun and not have to worry about if he's doing something right. It's all right there and he can just have fun with it! They can even keep track of their investigations by printing out an information card and creating a booklet of all they've learned about this interesting animal!

The only part of this product that I really don't care for is the amount of scripture/copywork, I do like some, but for us we aren't going to finishing every last page of it. I like that they include both manuscript and cursive examples for the copywork, and of course the nice thing about an e-book though is the ability to print out what you want and leave what you don't! If you love copywork then your child may enjoy the fact that there's plenty of pages to choose from and if you're like us and just a little is sufficient, then you do less! We'll also enjoy going over some of the scriptures, but again, not all.

My last comment about this product really is what pushes it over the edge for me. There are a few pages in the book specifically for children with special needs. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to teach a child with special needs and what kinds of things need to be taken into consideration to help them get the most out of what you're trying to present to them. Here TOS has helped ease this pressure by giving you ideas of how to teach, and it gave me a little more insight into how a child perceives things. Included in this section there are more of those lovely internal links that parents can use to help their children. That gives this product an extra gold star from me!

Overall, you really can't go wrong with The Curiosity Files! At a price of $6.95 for the Platypus and other selections at only $1 with a 7 day 100% guarantee I think you'll really enjoy having all of this information right at your fingertips! You could spread this out over a month or two or just have it on deck as something quick you can pull out when everything has gone awry and you haven't planned a lesson, or you're looking for something fun to do to shake things up. We'll definitely be getting a few more to help bridge the gap over "emergencies," and when I can't bolster the energy to do much more than hang out in bed :-)

Free Books!

I've been meaning to post about this... better late than never right? (In my defense the husband, and full caretaker of house and wife at the moment, came down with a nasty stomach bug that's kind of turned our house upside down, so my mind's been in survival mode!)

However, this is too fun to not share now that things are a little less crazy. Scholastic and Kumon have teamed up and are bringing your child an opportunity to earn 2-5 free books. By visiting their website you can download a math and/or reading worksheet and once your child completes it all you do is send in their worksheet(s) and they'll send you the books that were selected. Now, this really is cost free to you, but there are a couple of rules that are displayed in their "how it works" section. Only 5 books can be awarded per household and you can only have one entry per age-group (which I don't really know why you would send in more than one, there's about 8 books in each category to choose from, so the selections would get a little old unless you thought you could resell them). Anyway! The only other catch is that you're releasing your child's work for them to use however they'd like... promotions, advertising etc.

We haven't had a chance to do ours yet, and we should probably get on it sooner than later since it'll take 6-8 weeks for the books to get here anyway, but the work is pretty simple, and a few of the book selections are just enticing enough at the great price of free, that I'll be having my children complete these this week!

I LOVE Kumon. Well, I'll rephrase, I bought my children a few Kumon workbooks at the bookstore last year just for fun and THEY love Kumon, which in turn means I do. My first exposure to them as a company was when my best friend from the age of 5 would go to their after school and work on math and reading (yah... she was Asian, how'd you know? *laugh* NO, not trying to be offensive here, but she was WAY ahead of the game and these kinds of programs that most of us know nothing about are the reason she was/is. PLUS, I lived in Korea and can tell you firsthand about the lengths parents will go to give their kids a leg up.... I went from teaching 3 children English to 32 in a matter of days at know encouragement of my own... in was INSANE. They were all in piano and Taekwondo too). Anyway, after my children leeched on to these products I told my friend (who of course hated to go), and she had a good laugh about them enjoying it.... which I think proves that these tools can be incredible under the right circumstances.

So! If this looks right for you then I hope you'll share your experience! I'm excited to try!