The Lessons from Learning a New Language as an Adult

There's nothing like feeling like you know nothing to help you learn :-D. I get a lot of time to quietly reflect as well as to listen wholeheartedly as of late. While I'm trying to be diligent about studying Japanese, let's face it, I didn't grow up here, serve a two year mission as a young adult, or work at it at all during the last 8 years that I've been married to a Japanese speaker (but, in my defense, a few of those years said Japanese speaker was living and working in Korea where he spoke Korean everyday.... yah, that's the other part of my defense, I'm married to a talented linguist who hears and picks up on things that are a not even on my radar! It's intimidating, he does his best to help, but he's having to work with someone that isn't naturally good at non-romance languages and some days are better than others :-D. Things went about the same way when I tried learning Korean, and just like those years, I found that the Koreans were a lot easier to learn from. Similarly, using my caveman Japanese (a term a friend here coined), the Japanese people have been very patient and helpful in expanding my understanding. From there comes the listening part... I understand very little! The phrase that I use more often then I'd like to is わかりません　"wakarimasen" .. I don't understand :-). I'm getting better with hiragana and can type it etc., so I'm leaps and bound ahead of where I was, but still not where I want to be. The people here are AMAZING! It pains me that I can't converse with them more. So, I listen and try to pick up on context and words to help me decipher what is being spoken. This especially applies to our time at church. Most of the time I have NO CLUE what's going on, but it's good though. I listen and reflect more than ever and for that I'll be forever grateful. Again, it's hard that I can't communicate as I'd like, but just being a quiet observer has taught me a lot I've also noticed how this experience has increased my desires and abilities to teach my children language. It's tout learning a new language! That total applies to the little people in our homes... I think I took for granted the ability of children to pick up on language. There brains are definitely squishy and able to learn quickly (my 4 older kids all have honed into the Japanese sounds and diction and are mixing Japanese words with their English... which I totally encourage, it's been so fun! And we're only like 12 weeks into about 3 years of being here!) Anyway, my patience level with teaching reading and writing has increased by a million and my efforts to teach language to my little ones in both English and Japanese have been infused with more vigor than ever. Anyway, I don't know how many of you are going to drop what you're doing to move to a foreign country and immerse yourself, but I absolutely recommend learning a new language and conversing with someone that speaks it regularly. I've learned a lot about myself and my chidden over the last few weeks! It's hard to grow and stretch... it hurts!... but we're better for it in the end. Might I also extend a challenge to those whose husbands speak a foreign language? LEARN IT NOW :-D. I'm LDS and all worthy men asked to serve missions for two years when they're 19 (women can also go at 21 if they so choose). One of the things that I keep hearing over and over is how men have been reproved for not teaching their wives the language that they learned. Elderly couples are asked to serve missions as well and the message that keeps coming through is that the Lord needs couple missionaries to serve in foreign countries and that it's especially important for the wives to be able to communicate with the people there. So! If you're husband served a foreign mission maybe it's time to start learning? Definitely pray and talk to your husband about things at the very least, it may surprise you what you find :-). (And might I add, while my brain isn't as squishy/able to learn language as easily as when I was a child, I'm sure it's a lot easier to do now then it would be later in life!) We have a senior missionary couple here right now that's reminded me of this. The wife (Sister) and I work on Japanese once a week. She's studying hard and getting better everyday, but it's HARD! She remembers a prayer her husband taught her when they were first married and things like that, but the new stuff is difficult. She wishes she would have learned more then when it stuck. She also shared an experience from the MTC of her husband getting reproved for not teaching her Japanese. I keep hearing these stories! So, with the aid of much prayer and my dear husband who prays to know how to teach me, we're trying to move forward and prepare ourselves to serve the Lord wherever he may need us. For now, He needs us here and prepping our future missionaries by also helping them to learn a new language diligently (and to help their mom be better able to teach them their current language :-D). He's also teaching me to love all people and cultures, to find beauty in small things, and to quietly watch and listen. I'm grateful for these lessons. They're not easy... especially with an infant, still moving in, 2 kids in 2 different schools (where I also can't communicate with anyone effectively yet!), and a husband's who's business trips take up a lot of room on our calendar... but I'm learning! Are you learning a language or have you tried in the past? What keeps you going?

Mothers/Young Children

Here is a part of a talk from Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God by Elder Holland. His message is one that I'm trying to keep in mind lately and in response to the below babble :-). Being cooped up with 5 little ones, not getting very much sleep, not being in our own home, and a husband's sporadic schedule has me a little worked up... this brings some solace to me.

Time Keeps Going....

... and if I never take the time to sit down and blog when everyone is sleeping it'll never happen!

There's been lots of reevaluation in my life right now. We currently don't have a permanent home... we have a temporary home, supplied with standard items and the only sense of "home" and "familiarity" is in the clothes that were brought in our luggage for this grand adventure. We sent the kids blankets and other things we use frequently in our unaccompanied baggage shipment (the military's way of saying a few things that you want flown over without you and delivered soon after you arrive at your destination... as opposed to all the rest of your things, to include furniture etc., that will get there when it gets there). Anyway, said shipment has been here since we got here (and the rest of our household items for that matter), but without a home we have yet to have them delivered. Is there really no housing here? No, not necessarily. The majority of it is tower buildings (like the one that we currently reside on the 6th floor of), and we need to be on a certain side of the base in order to have our children go to school with out Bishop's children off-base in the Japanese schools, there's a lot of renovations happening, the housing offices doesn't really know what is and isn't available and/or when, and there's very little officer housing... so things are complicated. It's a headache to say the least. I have a lot of mixed feelings on the whole thing. I'm a bit more than stressed out but trying to keep calm for everyone else.... 5 kids 6 and under in a 3 bedroom place with nothing familiar to them and a dad who is gone pretty much from when they get up to when they go to bed has left many of them a little more than stressed out (out of control behaviors and comfort habits like finger sucking etc are at an all time high at the moment). No end in sight for this extended TLF stay and TDY's (temporary duty assignments i.e. husband going out of town for extended periods of time) set for every month for the next few months and deployment(s) on the horizon, have me about tapped out.

Now, on the flip side? I am extremely grateful to have a place to live at all! It's hard to live like this... my children desperately need normalcy, schedules and some stability... but we have a roof and protection from the weather (not necessarily earthquakes, but that's another story all it's own!). I read about the unrest in Syria, I think about the industrial revolution and how many family members and even families lived in one small home. I think of those who lost homes in the slew of natural disasters that have come in full force all over the world over the last year and have no where to go, and no hope of recovering the things that were swept away. I may be uncomfortable (and desperately wanting access to my treadmill), but I don't have to worry about so many things that others do. So, I am blessed, and I am grateful, and I'm praying daily (multiple times usually) that I can handle this the way that I need to!

On another note... I handle things better when I'm distracted :-D. Yes, yes, you know I'm quirky, and this is one of those things that I just do (and I KNOW others do to), deflection can be good sometimes! I still get what I need to done, but when faced with many things that I don't' have control over, I have to find something somewhere. Perhaps the lesson here is that I just need to let go? Maybe... I'll have to revisit that sometime. For now, I have to deflect in order to keep from going truly insane. I read Thomas S Monson's biography "To The Rescue" a lot faster than I thought I would.... it was one I brought on the plane thinking it would keep me busy, and it did for a bit, but it's over sadly (Fantastic read though! You should pick one up!)... I ordered some more books to keep me company until we get a home and I get my other books that have been waiting to be read. Here's what's on it's way, feel free to comment if you've read any!:

-A Watchman on the Tower (Elder Boyd K Packer's biography... the other book I was reading before we shipped our things was Teach Them Diligently, he was also referenced in President Monson's biography and a few CES Broadcasts that I've heard, so I wanted to read more about Elder Packer in the meantime).

-Increase in Learning by David A Bednar

-Return to Virtue by Elaine Dalton

-Being George Washington, The Indispensable Man, as You've Never Seen him by Glenn Beck.

Yah.... I can't do anything on a little scale can I? This isn't even the half of what I wanted *laugh* I'm waiting to see if Deseret Book has a sale for Conference to see about getting the rest (I want more biographies :-D).

It'll be really nice to get these books, reading things like this is a huge stress relief for me. I also thought the George Washington book would be especially nice seeing as how I'm delving into my Master's in American History for another distraction. Yes, being taxed down with papers to write and due dates helps me cope with life, what can I say? It's that or training for races... and with a bunch of little kids and no treadmill I can't do the latter at the moment. So, multiple avenues of stress relief are being visited at the moment.

I'm also learning Japanese through a BYU Independent Study course. We attend a Japanese church and the people there are incredibly kind and very helpful with my struggling language abilities. I'm enjoying learning and being able to communicate more, but have to focus on one day at a time so as not to get too overwhelmed with how much there is to learn!

You know that phrase at the top of my blog "the more I learn the more I realize that there's a lot more to learn"? That phrase is not just there because I like the way it looks! It definitely describes how I feel about everything. I'm at a constant run trying to catch up and wanting to learn everything in one day, but that's not how it is to be. We learn step by step, line upon line, here a little there a little, right? And sometimes the lesson is just to be patient and work a little each day? Anyway! There's a lot more to learn, but I know more now that I used to! That counts for something right? :-D

We've also been revising eating habits here. We watched the Forks over Knives documentary before we left NM, and when I went looking for it while at the gym one day I stumbled on this lecture. So, after having Nathan watch it we've been trying to adapt to more vegan eating habits. While we don't agree with EVERYTHING the guy says, we still agree with quite a bit. We weren't much for eating meat to begin with, but man! Dairy! I LOVE dairy! So, trying to find good recipes to replace our go to ones has been something that I try to do (and not think about how much easier and cheaper it would be in the states!) One of my friends from UT directed me to a fantastic site: http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/, and Engine 2's recipes(featured in Forks over Knives), and I picked up a Forks over Knives book at the BX which also had recipes. I'm not into "fake food" or foods galavanting as something else. So, that makes this a bit more challenging. For me, processed food is processed food and moderation in all things it key.

Anyway! There's a lot and yet very little going on here all at once. Time keeps going at a blistering rate and I feel overwhelmed by things I can't control.... hence the deflection. Things I look forward to are taking turns reading every other verse in the Book of Mormon with Noah, and sitting to read library books. We're trying to work on other things "school related" but just like I'm having a hard time focusing on one thing, my kids are also having a hard time focusing on anything in particular and their normal resources aren't available. We try and hit the park, but it's snowed a few times, rained a lot, and been bitterly cold more than I care to think about. We've braved the bitter cold windy days for the sake of sanity though.

I'm actually looking forward to my older children going to the Japanese school in the hopes that it'll bring some balance to the force. I'm also excited for the opportunity that they'll have to be immersed in the language and culture that their father loves so much. We've been blessed so much to be here and I'm sure we'll continue to be. What's life without some opposition though, right? I'm trying to focus on the positives and not focus on the things that are hard and discouraging. I think this time has really helped drive home the idea that we don't really know what other people are going through or how that effects them. I know that many people out there have some empathy for me, but some of you are wondering what I'm finding so difficult. That's fair... I don't know what has me all worked up either! Okay, I kind of do, but I need to get over it :-). In any case, if you've gotten this far in my babble, here's a beautiful blog post that I'll turn you to thanks to another blog that I frequent. Things aren't always as they seem.

That's enough of my random thoughts for now. Weighing-in Wednesday will be back tomorrow.... okay, granted that's most of yours Tuesday's, but it's Wednesday for me and if I factor in time changes I'll forget! Bear with me here while I try to attempt to straighten my life out or at least find the new path that's been set before us :-).

Blessings

I have lots to write about since moving to Japan last month, including thoughts and reviews, but I wanted to leave you with some words that came from my 6 (7 in June) year old son the other day:

"Mom, children are a blessing.... and parents are a blessing to children!"

He said this with a H U G E smile on his face. I'm so thrilled that he knows that he, his sister and all of his brothers are a blessing to their mom and dad, but I was taken back by his sweet addition that we are a blessing to him. Might we all live to be worthy of the accolades of our children. I hope to forever be called a blessing to him as we walk this path back home together.

Make sure all your little ones (and not so little ones) get extra hugs, kisses, and I love you's today and everyday. As one of my favorite songs called Find Your Wings by Mark Harris says, "it's only for a moment you are mine to hold, the plans that Heaven has for you will all too soon unfold." Let's make those moments even more precious! There's no room for anger or impatience in parenthood, we have the perfect example in our Heavenly Father, let's recommit to that example today! There's always more room for additional love and understand for our children and for all those we come in contact with while on our earthly journey.

Love to you all!
~Cherie

Life...

...is an always changing, daily opportunity to learn and grow and adapt (hence my blog name). Life for us has definitely followed this definition lately! At the beginning of October we were informed by the military that my husband was needed in Japan before the end of February... I was 8 months pregnant... and we had 4 children ages 6 and under. While excited, the prospect of having to acquire passports for everyone and the mere idea of having to be ready to move in January was/is a bit daunting. The last time I moved overseas I had to follow my husband by myself later with an 8 week old baby because his passport hadn't come in yet... and I'll tell yah, once I go to our layover in Seattle I was very tempted to have my in-law's pick me up and to call my husband and tell him that I would come only when he came to get me! It was terrible! Not really because of the baby, more just the people and airline etc., it was nightmarish, I was never happier to see Korean soil then when that flight was over! Anyway, thanks to that experience I had this horrible feeling that because of our time frame that I'd be moving not only with an 8 week old but also a 23 month old and 3, 5, and 6 year olds.... SO GRATEFUL THAT WON'T BE THE CASE! (Although, my husband did mention that if it was that while it would be difficult he would be willing to take one for the team and fly to Japan alone :-D).

Anyway, as the calendar screams at an alarming pace towards January I have at least one "AAHHH we're moving!" moment a day. I've grown accustomed to having to expect the unexpected thanks to the military, but this one really caught me off guard. We were given every assurance of being here clear into 2013, so we were planning for the baby, I had a race calendar all planned out for next year, we both had plans to start on our masters, we were planning our garden.... HA! They just wanted me to get cozy :-). In any case, I really do have to care for a 1 month old (as of yesterday), the rest of the kids, and make sure that our house is separated into storage, unaccompanied baggage (the smaller shipment of necessities that gets there faster), our household goods (the everything else stuff that goes on the slow boat and we get whenever it shows up), and to ensure that all the stuff we need stays separate from all that because if not IT WILL GET PACKED. So, I need to pack everyone's bags for about 2 months worth of clothes etc. Good times! Yes, "freak out moments abound here."

The one thing that I thought I had figured out was lifestyle once we got there. I got in contact with another American couple in Japan who attends a Japanese church that we wanted to go to. She was excited to hear of our coming and was encouraging of our patronizing the church. So, case closed, we're good right?! NO! *laugh* She asked me if our children would be attending Japanese school. Well, my husband and I talked about it briefly... he brought it up and I didn't turn down the idea but I certainly wasn't entertaining it either! I figured we could find some extracurricular classes to get the kids into etc. that wouldn't require them to be gone so long everyday.

Anyway, she's in the same situation that I'm in.... a husband that speaks Japanese, kids with squishy brains, and a slow go at learning the language herself (my brain LITERALLY hurts after studying Japanese). When she mentioned that her oldest children are fluent and both read and write in Kanji something in my mind clicked. I knew that our children needed to go to school there... but I still don't like the idea! *laugh* I talked to my kids about it, they're enthusiastic to go, and then I tried to talk them out of it! They'll be in school all day being immersed in Japanese, then come home to Japanese homework and they'll still be home schooled in English reading and writing. They were all still up to the challenge. THAT ONLY LEAVES ME WITH 2, COUNT THEM 2, CHILDREN FOR THE MAJORITY OF EVERYDAY! So not happy about that! I can't stand in the way of a great opportunity for them though. They'll pick up the language and culture in a way that we can't provide for them otherwise. We know we'll be there for at least 3-4 years with the potential of more, so now when their brains are squishiest and able to pick up the language is the best. My husband had offered to have them start when we go back after this assignment when they were older, but that's just not fair of me. They'll have a much easier time now. My husband's been speaking and living in Japan on and off for the last 13 years, has a degree in Asian Studies with a minor in Japanese, and is still learning new things everyday. What a gift that my children won't have to struggle to learn as much. My father-in-law speaks Japanese as well... he told me that he expects the children to come back speaking better than him too :-D.

Because of the way the schools run, my older 3 will be there to start the new school year IN APRIL. Yes, school runs from April to March. BOO! Pretty sure Heavenly Father knew that I needed to know that now instead of when we hit the ground there so that I had time to take it all in. It helps that there's a huge running group on base, all kinds of running events and triathlons between them and the nearby Naval base, and that because of the move I had to push my Master's work until April/May. Boy will I need that distraction then! No wonder my brain couldn't put aside going back to school this last year... I needed everything in place for when my children go to school and I'm with my little guys that both nap during the day. It's weird to be faced with so much quiet when you're use to chaos!

In the meantime we're all on Japanese learning track.... we have a bunch of movies by studio Ghibli (recently they came out with Ponyo which was pretty popular in the US, also Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle) and some other selections that the children watch in Japanese.

We also scour the Hiraganamama website like crazy! I enjoyed her website before, now it's more of a lifeline. She has links to youtube videos that have been helpful, worksheets, and overall information. I love this one, definitely something to check out! She has a New Year's card up on her site.. it's a dragon and she provides how to write a message for the New Year, we'll be working on that today! Your kid would enjoy it too I'm sure!

I also have access to Rosetta Stone and try to login to that regularly. (If you're military you should look into getting access to this for free. The library also has Mango that you can use from home). It does make my brain hurt, but I am picking up on a lot more.

My husband also found several apps in the iTunes store that he uses on the iPod of iPad to help him learn additional Kanji (which I am SO NOT ready for... I'm still trying to master Hiragana and trying not think about learning 2 more alphabets thank you very much!)

We also have a few learning books that Nathan picked up on his last stint in Japan.

Anyway! Life's been exciting here and definitely NOTHING like I thought it would be. Learning to change and be adaptable it good though :-). I know my children are headed for an amazing opportunity and one that Heavenly Father had in store for all of us. I'm resistant to change and really don't care to have someone else dictating my schedule, but perhaps there's the lesson for me in all of this! Who knows. Either way we're off for an even bigger adventure than I had imagined! It's a good thing that the one sailing this ship knows where it's headed because we'd surely be lost otherwise!

I hope your holiday's have been wonderful and that you're able to see the working of God in your life at this time to in whatever it may be that you're doing!

The Way's Been Long... But I'm Blessed!

I've had a hard time taking the time to come and write here... it's not for lack of things on my mind... perhaps it's been because there has been too much on my mind? I don't know. But, I figure I'd better come and write something and hopefully get a little bit better about writing.

My post title comes from a song that plays in my mind on a daily basis. If you're familiar with the Duggar family then you're probably aware of their friends from Tennessee, the Bates, who have 19 children. I found a video of the Bates singing (well, a few actually) and one in particular made a big impression on me. I LOVE watching this family sing together and the song they sing in one particular video has the lyrics "It's been a long journey but I have been blessed, walking with Jesus I have no regrets, He is so good to me I must confess, the way's been long, but I'm blessed."

My personal blogging tapered off most significantly after an unplanned trip to California at the beginning of October. I knew I'd be taking this trip after a phone call came through on my husband's birthday that a cousin of mine had passed away, I just wasn't aware how quickly it'd happen or how. I had just celebrated another year of life of my sweet husband that I am so blessed to have, only to find out that my cousin (who was only a year older than my husband) was no longer with us on Earth. I did find solace in knowing that he was in a better place, and I could literally see him in my mind being embraced by my grandfather who left us many years ago... but there were still a lot of feelings running through me and thoughts in my mind that still haven't quite settled.

In any case, things turned out wonderfully... my husband was amazing and asked for time to take our little family out to California all together (including his 34 week pregnant wife). He even stayed back at the hotel with all of the children so that I could go to the viewing and funeral. As I walked into the room that my cousin lay there were a lot of different emotions that hit me. It's a pretty sobering experience to be looking at someone you love and who you can remember up and smiling and so full of life, to just seeing a shell. Things were made better by being greeted by ALL of my family members.... my parents and sisters had come in from AZ that morning and my brothers were both there. Being the 7 of us (well 9, plus 2 with my brother-in-laws) was strengthening and uplifting not only to each of us, but it made a big impact on our extended family that we were all there with them. To not only grieve and mourn with them, but to rejoice in life.

I think since then I've reviewed my own mortality quite a bit. What legacy will each one of us leave to those around us? As we walked with family into the chapel after the casket had closed, my heart was full to see that every bench in the chapel was full and that every chair in the extended area had been filled.... the people that had come out on a Thursday morning despite work/school or whatever else they had going on had literally amounted to hundreds of people. Hundreds of lives that had been touched by one man, and that doesn't even count those who couldn't come or who hadn't heard yet. Who are we touching with our lives? What stories and memories will be had of us when we no longer inhabit this body?

We really have no idea what each day holds for us. We have no say as to how long we will be on this earth or what conditions we will live in as we do. Life is such precious gift! As I look at my husband and children it always makes me want to be a better person, but I've tried to increase that resolve as of late. What words will be the last that I say to them? What will they remember me by? My greatest desire is to raise sons that are like unto the Stripling Warriors who have strength and faith in the Lord because of the foundation they were given early in life. And my greatest desire is for my daughter to be like Mary... willing to tell the Lord that His will be done and being worthy of the blessings and trials that He sees fit for her.

I am grateful for life! As the lyrics of this song say: "I've had my share of sunshine and rain, days filled with laughter and nights filled with pain, but with every mile as I travel each day the journey gets sweeter each day."

So, as the kids are yelling, things have been spilled, the house isn't as picked up as we'd like, babies have been up all night (meaning you were up all night) and now you have to be up all day, let's choose joy. The spirits we get to come in contact with each day are so choice and so worth every ounce of our goodness and once that's gone they're worth every minute spent asking God to help buoy us up. Life is precious! We just welcomed our 5th child not too long ago... I have to admit, he had me a little scared along the way. I have 3 friends that were due with babies at the same time who lost theirs into the 2nd trimester, and with out little one's track history of having to endure me having surgery and Nathan being gone I had no idea how this would end. With every pain I was seriously questioning whether he would make it until I was able to hold him in my arms. His name is Zane, it means God is gracious, and that's certainly how I feel!

As you watch this video just think of the words and look into the faces of these wonderful people. Are they perfect? No. But they do have a great perspective on life. While I'm sure my husband will never outright go for having 18 children, and who knows how many more we'll have being one ovary down now, but I look at this family and greatly desire the same. Why? Because raising children is easy of course! Oh, wait, no, that's not it :-). It's because despite the challenges that arise I believe that there are spirits waiting in heaven that need body's and if I can bring them into a home that will teach them that they are children of God and help provide them with the tools they need to return to him then I should. My husband feels this way too... he'd just rather take them one at a time while I'm a big picture kind of gal! In any case, whether this one is our last or if we're blessed with 1 or 2 more I'd be just as happy... God is in control of all that kind of stuff. My job is to enjoy and give thanks for what He's given, improve each day, and learn all that I can so that my children and others can benefit from that knowledge!

Don't take for granted what is given each day. Every breath is a gift, use it wisely and in singing praises to He who gives life.

Back to School!

Nope, not for the children... their school year is actually coming to an end since we officially start school every January and "stop"/prep for recitals/talents shows/review what we've done over the year/have our family Olympics come Thanksgiving through Christmas.

So, if not back to school for the children that means... ? Oh, right, BOTH of their parents are going back to school! *laugh* I feel like a crazy person saying that! I've felt for some time now that I need to go back to school and was pretty excited earlier in the year and now I'm T E R R I F I E D! :-D. Go figure! As for my husband, he actually has to go back to school if he wants to continue advancing in the military past his next rank. SO! I've been busy gathering everything together for both of us and dotting 'i's/crossing 't's and now we're all set up! Nathan will start work on his Masters in Intelligence (sounds kinda funny huh?), in October, and I'll follow in January.

While terrified there is a bit of excitement still buried within me. I think the terrified thing just comes from fear of the unknown, but I try to shake that off and remember that God wants me to continue my education and He'll help me. I certainly can't succumb to the negative voices in my head now! Anyway, my degree will be a Masters in History with a concentration in American History, and for that I am T H R I L L E D! I spent quite a bit of time "off topic" (i.e. I have an AA in Political Science, LOVED the field and was a semester away from getting a BA in it when I got married and then had to switch fields), so I've spent quite a bit of time in psychology. Which I like. And laugh that I have a BS degree. But now I get to delve back into what I LOVE and that's really wonderful! It took a lot of thought to really pin down what to study. Being a homeschooling mom of almost 5 under 6, with a very unpredictable husband work-wise, doing anything that required a practicum or internship wasn't going to work. And then my other problem was finding a work-field where I could use my degree and not get shut down for "lack of experience." After throwing this around I got some great advice from a fellow TOS blogger and my dreams of playing in the field of history/politics got new life! I've been hoping to teach through and online university (but again, they like you to "work in your field" for 5+ years etc.), I've also thought about community colleges etc. when the kids are a bit older, or if Nathan had a steady schedule or if something happened to him. I'm telling yah, I kicked around A LOT of things over the last year or so. However, this fellow mom that I was blessed to get in contact with is an online university professor and had some great advice. I finally came to the conclusion that "History" is not a necessarily a field where one works in an office etc. It is one in which people research, write papers, get things published etc. SO, that being said, I had a lightbulb moment in which I realized... hello?! I can essentially do all of that from HOME!!! Add to that university need for people that specialize in history to teach their history classes, and voila! A dream was reborn and a new path undertaken!

The scary part? Well, the unknown of actually turning in papers for a graduate degree etc., and how to factor reading and writing for those into my day when: Nathan starts his Masters in about 2 weeks, we have a baby due in about 8 weeks, we homeschool 4 children, and Nathan's job always has us on our toes as to where he and/or our family will be! So, I'm taking a deep breath, trying to prepare and create order wherever I can, and then come 2 Jan I'm just going to take a leap into my program and try not to look back! :-). The time has to go by anyway right? Might as well get myself focused and have a degree in hand in which I can use to help my family if needed. I have know idea why I feel this push, but I better stop ignoring it, and hey, I can't complain too much especially after figuring out that I already own and have leisurely read most of the required books! *laugh* Yep, I'm a nerd!

To all you fellow nerds, I hope you keep learning everyday too in whatever means and situations you may be in! Your family needs your "expertise" even if the world says you are no expert because you don't work outside the home. I refuse to believe that stereotype! I've learned more on my own over the last 5 years than I ever did in "School," please take the opportunity to do the same. We're made to learn and grow regardless of age, situation or environment. Let's get to work!

Supper

I was thinking about our eating habits a bit and thought I'd share:

For quite a while now we have instituted a kind of eating schedule that could probably be best described from the book "Food Rules." To paraphrase, we eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. What does that mean?

Well, breakfast is the biggest most caloric meal of the day, here we try and have a large/filling meal to give us energy for the day and cue our bodies that 'no really, it's time to get going!' I try to incorporate a protein like eggs and the various incarnation of them (including my favorites like puffy apple pancakes etc that take a bunch of eggs), we have a meat occasionally (like twice a month... yah, we're not really meat eaters around here), load up on grains, fruit etc.

Lunch for us is what most people would refer to as dinner. We figured last year sometime that it didn't make sense to have a big meal before bed, so lunch and dinner got swapped. Now, I'm spoiled. My husband comes home everyday around noon (usually, and if he's not traipsing around the world somewhere), so it's easy to keep everyone fed like this. However, if he didn't have such a schedule and wasn't opposed to left overs, I would just work a day behind. For example, whatever the family eats for lunch Monday goes with dad Tuesday etc., so he also gets his biggest meal midday even if he has to take food to work. Here is where I'll pull out the pasta dishes, if I had a meat something planned, baked sweet potatoes with all there lovely toppings like black beans, corn, tomatoes, avocado, laughing cow cheese, salsa, etc. Something to fuel the rest of the day and the husband who works out most days after work for about an hour and a half to two hours before he gets home.

Now, onto the real reason for this post, our dinner meal is more accurately referred to as supper. It's a lighter meal, just some extra fuel, not to much or meant to fill the belly, just to get through the night and not have the body working on something heavy as your trying to lay down to sleep. I understand the body's need to refuel especially after a long/hard workout (although just a spoon full of peanut butter and 8oz of fat-free organic milk does it for me, but I'm crazy like that), but for athletes and normal people alike.... calorie loading after 5 or 6 doesn't really help. So, I'll give you some things that we enjoy here and then I'll link it up and find some pictures to make this post more appealing, just needed to get something out there! Trying to create the perfect finished post in one feel swoop often leads to lack of sleep or ignoring of things that need to be done, so I'm going to try the two step approach.

Anyway! Starting from today and working backward as best as I can remember:

Cowboy Caviar from this recipe here, and corn bread. The caviar I make with apple cider vinegar instead of red wine. Tragically I looked up red wine vinegar and apparently the way that it's made doesn't end up getting rid of all alcoholic presence. I'm sure there's only just a faint trace left, but regardless, we don't believe in using alcohol inside of our bodies, so I've had to tweak that part of the recipe. I read that apple cider vinegar could be used as a substitute, and I think there were others on the list... you could Google it. Anyway, the change gives it a little more of a sweet taste I would say? Dunno, I totally like the red wine better, but I'm being good! And it's still tasty :-D The corn bread I'll type out the recipe for. I use what's on my corn meal container (have for years! Should probably write it down in case they ever stop printing it!), but I add wheat flour and don't use the optional salt.

Naan and hummus with smoothies. The hummus recipe here is a good base and has no tahini... I can't find tahini here so these types of recipe work best for me and they're all pretty much the same. Even my parents like this one. Confession though, this meal is one we entirely purchase at the commissary. I definitely need to learn how to make Naan, it's fabulous! That may have to way until post-baby though. For now we're addicted to the roasted red pepper hummus that our commissary offers (and no, not all hummus is created equal... our store was out so we picked up some at Walmart and it wasn't my favorite. The artichoke and spinach wasn't too bad though). Anyway! Find a recipe or brand you like! It's worth it :-). And hummus is highly supported by the Biggest Loser... lots of the contestants end up using it instead of mayo etc. Good stuff!

Zucchini muffins and smoothies

Bruchetta on homemade bread (or artisan bread from the store if we've been out), and we broil a bit of mozzarella on the bread before serving. Seriously, 2 or 3 pieces and we're full, and they aren't big slices at all! The recipe that I link to here is what I started using about 2 years ago when I first started making this. Now we just improvise :-). I've been asked a lot for this recipe though when I take it to squadron functions, so it's worth starting with. I don't use plum tomatoes, we usually use 4-6 yummy on the vine tomatoes. And I'm almost entirely sure that may maiden voyage with this one included just a pack of those pretty tomatoes that start with a 'c'. Yah, I know, I'm helpful, sorry!

and from there I can't remember specifics. (Hey, I'm happy if I remember to get out of bed most mornings!)

Other things we often have are sliced apples with peanut butter and a glass of milk. Cut veggies with hummus or a side of string cheese. Any variety of muffin with smoothies (I buy frozen fruit and add that with organic yogurt, wheat germ, banana's if we have them, and maybe a little pineapple juice and pineapple from a can lurking in the food storage). Cooked squash (butternut, acorn) etc. is nice. You could use a recipe from Pioneer Woman on that here. Pretty sure this way defeats the purpose of trying to keep from overeating at night, but you could tweak it? Sometimes we'll have an egg over a little rice with laughing cow cheese. During the colder months we'll have a light soup. Oh, and sandwiches are fair game for supper (basically anything you'd have for lunch). And our big "splurge" day of Sunday we end up eating kind of between both meals and we make curry.... which is essentially veggies over rice.

So, now to linking these up and if I remember more I'll let you know! Any favorite light meal/supper ideas you'd like to share?

My Pregnancy Enjoyment Guide

I was going to name this my pregnancy survival guide, but I figured that name needed some revamping! Despite the challenges many women face as they grow a little one, the process is quite incredible and should be enjoyed..... but that's a lot easier to do when you're not nauseous and or saying goodbye to everything you've attempted to eat or drink :-D. So, here are some things that I've found that may increase your enjoyment as well! With this baby I have been sick to my stomach since day 1 (which told me this was a boy long before the Dr. did), and I had to have emergency surgery to remove an ovary in week 5 or so which knocked me out for a good month... and I'm still recovering... turns out incisions healing while your body is stretching doesn't help so much, and my husband had to leave me and 4 children under 5 for almost 2 months right about the time I was back on my feet. Needless to say something had to give, as my old anti-nausea tricks weren't helping, so I turned to Facebook and asked friends and family for unusual remedies. The following is what keeps me going and enjoying life and baby's little kicks and movements each day:

1/ Comes from the book of me.... STAY HYDRATED. Easier said than done. I don't know about you, but water and I aren't the
best of friends when my stomach wants nothing to do with ANYTHING. However, I found my 32oz water bottle that I've lugged around for a few years and it's been my constant companion. I try to fill and drink it twice before my husband comes home for lunch and at least one after... and if I end up blowing that plan, well, then I have to drink more at night and suffer the wrath of waking up to hit the bathroom. The reason my bottle was retired is because I have to normally mix a little juice with my water to keep it down and I didn't want to defile my water bottle (it seriously wreaks if you keep that up). Anyway! The latest trick is to add a drop or two of lemon oil from my Family Physician's kit that I talked about in last post and viola! Water I can keep down and has some extra cleansing power, and it doesn't make my bottle gross. Even if you have to try a teaspoon at a time you need hydration... it's quite cyclical. If your'e dehydrated your body will be nauseous and when you try to hydrate the body will reject it because it's dehydrated. Nice huh?

2/Another from the book of me.... EXERCISE. Yes, I'm a crazy person. Do I have to mention that so frequently? I guess this is for the benefit of new readers :-D. I was prepping for a triathlon that I would have raced at 9 weeks pregnant, but instead found myself recovering from surgery.... and have since gained 30lbs! Umm... yah, so while I know it'll all come off later it certainly doesn't help now. I gain all the weight in my upper leg/hip area and carrying that around is rough. Thankfully I've had the stamina to pull out my Mom's Into Fitness DVD's and alternating between my 2nd trimester cardio/weight section and yoga
plus a mile walk Mon-Sat, I've found MORE ENERGY, and of course MORE ENDURANCE and STRENGTH. The thing I really like about these DVD's is that Lindsay set it up so that regardless of what stage you're at within your trimester you can find modifications that work for you, and you don't feel pressured! She really helps you figure out how to be safe and do things properly, which is big! And of course my favorite is that she reminds mom's that studies show that WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD CHILDREN CAN GET IN BETTER SHAPE THEN WOMEN WHO HAVEN'T. Here's the link for the set of videos I have, it walks you through trimesters 1-3 and has a post-natal work out. I've used this for the last two babies, LOVE IT! So pull out your shoes (I wear Vibram Five Fingers) and do something. I like that exercise helps with aches/pains and releases tension in places that cause your typical low back pain etc. (Oh, and I take 2 months off after baby before training for races, so it helps to stay in good shape now.... I have a triathlon in April, hopefully a couple Ragnar's and my "hmm... I've just had a baby... now how to get the weight off?" goal is a marathon for my birthday.... so staying in shape now really helps that lag post baby. I set goals of races to finish to stay motivated. I know none of you have problems getting motivated! :-). Seriously, give it a try, it's great and your husband will love you for it. There are enough hours in the day, promise! I'll even walk you through it personally.)

3/A tip from the oils and everythingdoterra.com. There's an oil blend called DigestZen and it kills heartburn in about 2 seconds. I keep my whole collection next to me every night and if my chest/throat is burning I know a drop or two of DigestZen will help me get back to sleep without pain! It's a beautiful thing :-). Previous pregnancies I've gotten up and had a bowl of cereal. It's an acceptable fix, but this one is super efficient and keeps me in bed so my body isn't any more restless than usual.

4/A few friends/family chimed in to tell me about sea bands... seriously, how did I not know about these earlier?? I have 3 boys, all of which I had the pleasure of 9 months of nausea and vomiting with. With boy #4 I haven't been nauseous over the last month and a half while wearing these. I actually bought Psi Bands after I figured out how well these worked for me, (Psi Bands are the cuter version of sea bands). I bought mine off of Amazon for $11, there was an unexpected discount when I checked out, woohoo! I hear some hospitals carry them, especially ones that have cancer treatment centers. The whole idea is accu-pressure. Yes, I've had pain in my wrists with the little balls going into them and yes my wrists sometimes hurt, but yes, it's totally worth it!

5/My cousin suggested corn on the cob. She was really sick with her first and couldn't eat anything. Her husband ended up getting some corn after an hour trip to the store turned fail and my cousin was crying because the thought of anything made
her sick..... and she ended up eating both bags of corn and sent him back for more. Her doctor said at the next visit that it wasn't a coincidence, that there had been studies that showed corn on the cob helping nausea. I bought a big bag of frozen corn on the cob. It's easy to cook and I hold it down and even enjoyably quite well.

6/I tried this out of family/friend suggestions and it worked, but since my homeopathic 'cures' work I haven't used it since, but perhaps it'll help you. Many chimed in to say that Unisom worked great (I bought the Walmart equivalent that was quite a bit cheaper and it worked like they said). For nausea you take just a tiny sliver of the pill, and then of course if you take more it's a sleep aid and approved for use while pregnant. So, that was a two in one. I used the sliver method a bit and used it to sleep a couple nights that I was really beat and needing the rest.

7/A friend email me about refried beans. I haven't tried this in it's entirety, but with all of my children I have CRAVED mexican food like crazy and it settled my tummy. I always try to keep a good stash of pinto beans so I can mashed them up for some burrito good-ness! Anyway, here's a blog you can look at that has more info on that: http://littleprairiehomeschool.blogspot.com/2011/06/beans-cure-for-morning-sickness-no.html

8/Vitamin B6.... You know, some women praise the stuff, and I do have some... but I don't see much difference when I use it personally. Just figured I'd throw it out there for yah!

Anyway, I hope if your'e growing a little one, have in the past, or are thinking of it in the future that maybe some of these ideas will help you! It goes by so quickly, the reward is so great, and the amnesia (at least with me, and stated in a bible passage my husband found) is very strong! :-D.

Distractions

I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine last week that made me think a lot about distractions in our lives. This friend has 9 children, also homeschool's, and is someone that I met once at a homeschool picnic for our county over 3 years ago and now the poor thing is stuck with me for life, despite the fact that I've moved 3 times since then!

Anyway, she and I got to talking this particular day, after only brief notes back and forth since we saw each other almost a year ago, because she knew my daughter had gotten an ear infection and she had a remedy for me that didn't involve a prescription (and yes, a combination of bronchitis/ear infection/craziness ensued in our family shortly after my last post... hence the break this mom had to take from the blogosphere!) Okay, so if you're wondering about the alternative for ear infection that would be garlic oil, which I went out and bought since I didn't have time for it to sit and cure when making myself, but I'll definitely be doing that when I get close to running out... I hear the garlic actually warms the oil as it's seeping, isn't mother nature awesome!! Oh, that also led us to a conversation about oils, after which I immediately bought my own "Physician's Kit" and I've been one happy momma! I put On Guard on all my children and my husband's feet after church Sunday (YEP, my husband got home Saturday!!! No, I don't know how long he'll be around, I don't hold my breath for such things, but we sure are enjoying him being home!!!). So, *laugh* my post is about distractions and here I am getting distracted. Anyway! The On Guard stuff is an Anti-Viral, i.e. I just wanted to take a prohibitive step in taking out anything they may have picked up at church. I also used Lavender that morning on a really bad burn I got (think cast iron pan, 425 degree oven, and for some reason my hot pad wasn't actually working OUCH), I put the lavender on, it burned maybe a minute longer, and then the pain was completely gone and my finger didn't have any trace of being burned. Yes, that sold me! The oils that I bought were from DoTerra Oils, and then another sweet friend that I bugged for information on Saturday that's used oils and alternative medicine for years told me about YoungLiving Oils. You can think I'm nuts, well that goes without saying most days, but I really don't think that the weird thing is using plant life etc. that has been put here for our use by a loving Heavenly Father. I think everything here has a purpose, and if you find something that works, go with it! I blogged last year about the movie the Beautiful Truth that highlights the Gerson therapy response to cancer and other ailments, I'm a believer! (You can watch the full movie if you follow that link). Modern medicine is a beautiful thing (hence me even being alive after April's close call), but it does have it's limits and I think sometimes a go at a "natural" remedy before taking medications that require medications to cover the adverse side-effects of the first is definitely worth looking in to. My friend had also mentioned a passage by Joseph Smith that stated his worry for the coming of Eastern Medicine to the West wasn't that he was against the developments, but that he didn't want the people to stop turning to God in their time of need for healing. Anyway! All these things work hand in hand I think, so I'm happy to learn something new (and have some AMAZING cures for simple things hanging around... my finger is very grateful!)

So, on to what I was really thinking about when I started this... again, my husband and I have discussed this issue too, but it's nice when other people outside my home come up with similar conclusions.

DISTRACTIONS.... I'm sure if we pooled our thoughts we could come up with about a million of them from t.v. shows, to jobs, to the latest and greatest car/boat/appliance/electronic. In my opinion, so not a definition straight from the dictionary but perhaps close if you actually look it up, a distraction is something that keeps you from doing what you're supposed to be doing. And what are you supposed to be doing? Well, that is a loaded question isn't it? From what I've studied and researched and yes, have felt, is that the whole purpose of life is to make it back to your creator. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe there is a God who watches over us and wants us to return home to Him, and that our main goal is to do so and to take as many others with us as will come. So, if there is something in my life that keeps me from not working on this goal everyday (my 'work' contains furthering my knowledge both spiritual and temporal, caring for my family, serving others, etc.), then it goes on the distraction list. I know, it's rough how black and white that can be! But isn't it true? Is that extra show or pop culture such and such helping you attain your ultimate goal? My husband and I are way different people today then we were when we started this crazy journey together almost 7 years and 5 children ago... we've had to make decisions and continue to do so. What helps us move forward, and what's a distraction leading away from our ultimate goals? And while we're at it, do we really truly believe in that ultimate goal? That it's attainable? And have we prayed for help in creating a reality that works towards that goal... because if you have the one that I mentioned above I can promise you wholeheartedly that there will be trials and tests ahead because there is an adversary who is very real that doesn't like to see you succeed at the goal you hold most dear to your heart.

So, my sweet friend and I were talking... neither one of us are millionaires or anywhere near being such... neither one of us have anything more then functional vehicles to transport people where they need to go... we have homes that aren't going to be put into a popular magazine anytime soon (well, at least not on the most glamourous list! Maybe on the loud and slightly to mostly disheveled list), but we're happy and despite trials and lack of funds, we both want to add to our family's (which is one of those things we don't say to most people :-D). Why? Well, I'll tell yah, walking around with my 4 children in like having a laser beam attached to my forehead that draws people in and says "please, oh please will you comment about my 'sorry state'?" It doesn't matter how many you have, I think starting at about 2... especially if you have a boy and a girl... people start hoping that you're finished reproducing. Why? Well, my husband and I have wondered if some of it may be guilt driven, but that's all speculation. What kills me is that people think that I care :-D. I enjoy my life, we're mostly happy and somewhat put together most days, and we can't imagine life without any one of our children. So, if I find joy in my life why not add to it? I'm not asking anyone's permission, and I really don't think anyone has the right to be mean about it. Some people can't have children, some have 20 or more (yep, gotta throw out a Duggar comment), and some don't want them or don't want more than "x" amount. You know what I say? MORE POWER TO YAH!

It's important to re-read that last sentence. Your personal choices are just that, YOURS. My commentary here about distractions is just a broad "throw it out there" kind of thing, because that's what I do best :-). I NEVER WANTED CHILDREN, so don't think I don't understand the thought process of most people, been there, done that, I don't need to give that point of view credence here, so I won't but I just wanted you to know that I know the other side and don't need to be informed of it, k?

Moving on. I've read and heard this saying a lot lately, so I thought I'd share it... and no, I don't know if anyone has actually coined the phrase. The gist of it is... the bible tells us to avoid debt because it's a curse and that children are a blessing. Nowadays people apply for curses and deny blessings. Clever isn't it? I bring this up because even in "Mormon Culture" where once it was normal to have a large family, people think you've lost your mind if you have more than 2! Some of the questions posed to us are "how will you pay for college?" "how will you pay for braces?" "what about a big family trip every year?" "what about new clothes?" "what about cars for all the kids?" CAN YOU SAY DISTRACTIONS? I honestly don't care what other people have and how they choose to spend their money. I've seen some heavily spoiled children that come from homes where they are provided everything and I think that's sad for the child that they didn't have to learn to work, but hey, that's the parent's choice and SO NOT MY BUSINESS! My husband and I both paid for college ourselves, I didn't have braces till I was married so my husband and I paid for that, we've paid for our own cars, etc. etc. you see a pattern here? I think we've turned out alright :-).

Okay, so drumroll as I try to pull this all together. President David O McKay taught "that the pure love between a man and a woman is one of the noblest things on earth, and the bearing and rearing of children the highest of all human duties." -This came from Quentin L Cook's article "The True Path to Happiness" in the June Ensign. We also read in the book of Moses that God's work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how that can happen if God's spirit children are not able to come to earth because we're being distracted by other things. I'm not saying that there aren't good reasons to not have more children, I'm not saying that there aren't good times to wait a certain amount of time between them.... but what I am saying is that if you are able to have more but are scared because of other people's commentaries (yes, family counts as 'other people'), or are worried about financing the above nonsense completely for your child, take a breath. What else do we have in life if not our families? Here is a great article on Defending the Family in a Troubled World.

Only you will answer for you in the end. Nathan and I have often talked about what really matters. When he retires from his current position will it mattered the hours that he spent at work or the titles he held, will anyone really care? Is that how he'll introduced himself when he picks up a job nowhere near related to what he's done for the government over his first career? Who cares and who matters? Well, I'm pretty sure our children will know and they'll care about the time they got to be with their dad or the days he took off to go camping. I'm pretty sure that the Disney vacations we don't get to take will be overshadowed by the time we spend together and the relationships we've built. And in the end as our lives are coming to a close our grand picture involves our children and their children and even there children coming together for reunions, holiday's, or just because. I never had that dream before, but it is a driving force in my life since our family starting growing. Yes, I get funny looks, but who cares? I get to have real joy. Even if we only were blessed with 2 children or even none, finding joy in children and spreading the message of happiness and good cheer is something to get excited about! Everyone has their own path in life, we're not all the same and I'm so glad for that!

I feel like our family isn't complete and I don't want that feeling to persist knowing that I had control over the outcome and decided that what popular culture thought was important was more important than my job here on earth. Honestly, even over the last year or so I've had to come to terms with what I thought the right age to stop would be. I never wanted to have a child going on a mission and have a new baby of my own... or have a child getting married or having children of their own and having a baby myself. Why? Well, that would be WEIRD! Right? *laugh* Anyway, who knows if it will actually happen, but I've had to let my own timeline goes. Who says it's weird? Why did I have that preconceived notion? I just wanted to be finished in the next 10 years and have everything work out perfect and then I can move on and we can do "xyz" without worrying about having a little one. Not that that wouldn't be nice :-). But I don't know if that's the right thing and I don't think that I really have any excuse to try and force that will in any direction.

Moral of the story? Pray :-). Find out your family's ultimate goal and work toward it unceasingly and personally take your sword (metaphorically of course), and beat away the distractions that are keeping you from doing what you feel needs to be done.

In the end, only you will be responsible for your decisions. It doesn't work for our children to try and say that they didn't complete a task because so and so was distracting them, and it won't work for you either. However, know that there ARE other people along your path who are placed there to be an encouragement as you act upon the spirit... seek them out and shut out the voices that keep you from your potential!

Acceptable Losses

It's funny. My husband suggested while I was trying to get my life back together and he was getting ready to leave that I write a blog on "acceptable losses." How dare he! *laugh* You have to understand, my husband and I both suffer from Obsessive Compulsiveness. Being the parents of many little ones, many of which are boys that I end up being nauseous with for 9 months, and having moved over 9 times in the last 7 years of marriage, we've learned to tone it down... but when stress hits the family, watch out! It's not uncommon to see one or both of us frantically cleaning/scrubbing something at a ridiculous time of day, well, more like night/early morning. In one day as we were pulling something together in preparation for him to leave he suggests this topic. I really can only be so offended. Of course I want to do EVERYTHING, but let's face it, there has to be acceptable losses in your life regardless of circumstance.

For instance, in my life as I currently know it, I'm a single parent of 4 children under the age of 5 and pregnant with another boy (yay! but that also means I'm pretty sick most of the time), and I'm a homeschooling mom trying to keep her house from falling apart (I had to stock up on frozen food the week before last, that was a low point for me!). Anyway, over the last month that my husband has been away I've been trying to at least try and keep my house and family together. I generally don't go out much, or make sure that my children have earned the outings/time with friends that come up, but still I can't handle much. I think this last week I've consciously decided to shake down my expectations. Honestly I sat down this morning and thought to myself "what do I really care about?" I think when it comes down to it I realized that I need to make sure I keep control of dishes and floors, and everything else can pretty much fall away and we'd be okay! Those areas sanitary and nice has to be good enough for me.... otherwise I'm a crazy person!

My children are having a difficult time with their dad being gone this time around, and trying to motivate them to clean like they did before with very little energy myself and them having not worked at much around the house for 6 weeks has not played out well! Cleaning the house like I'd like seriously takes all week and then some. Even with very little in their rooms my children have taken HOURS to clean. Huh? Anyway, my priorities had to be shaken up before things got out of control.

Right now I'm allowing for a lot of losses! And that's okay! My home needs to feel good, be sanitary and healthy, but that doesn't mean that I have to have every spot on everything absolutely clean before we do anything else as a family. (That doesn't mean it won't be the case later on in life!) But as for this stage, I have a few things that need to be taken care of in this house, and other than that WE PLAY! :-).

With losses come gains.... what have I gained? Special time with each one of my children. My husband and I love our children so much! We love that we've been blessed with so many and we really have prayed and hope for more. With each child and each change in my life I'm constantly readjusting! Story of every parent's life right? How could it not be! Each child is different and the responsibility to raise them is HUGE! Add to that homeschooling and essentially being together 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and you can see your weaknesses real fast! I think one of the things that I've really needed is to reconnect with my children and to STAY connected. We have good days, then I have and OCD snap and I need everything cleaned. So, I have to have plans in place to make sure that I stay connected with these amazing tiny humans. That's a really long winded way of saying:

-I sat down with each child individually and asked them what goals they wanted to work on i.e. what they wanted to learn or what they'd want to do just the two of us.

They were thrilled! Everyone gets at least 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted mom time everyday. No really, everyone else gets tuned out and you have to be profusely bleeding or the like in order to be addressed. I can't have all my kids in the kitchen so this allows me to work just one on one with whoever wants to cook with me, I also have a "great excuse" to just sit and play chess with my oldest, or help my 3 year old learn how to read (his goal, not mine). Each child needs that time individually and then collectively I'm just trying to focus on reading, and making religion something that is truly a part of them and something they know is the top priority in our home.

All we do should be to keep our children in a close relationship with their Father. How can that be conveyed through a stressful home environment? While I believe a house of order is of great importance, I also know that contention is not of God and cannot be tolerated in the relationship I have with my children or the relationship they have with each other. The result is spending way more time on the things that matter most: scriptures, hymns, family relationships, working together, and trying to find opportunities to serve others.

I know, I know, I always find the most simple, "no duh" answers to my problems, but it's those things that really work. Who cares that my home is spotless if my children and I have a disastrous relationship in doing so. Repaired relationships will go a long way into getting to the point where we can have the spotless home... but first things first!

So, what else have I been doing? Well, reading of course! I've really enjoyed my latest reads:

-A Love that Multiplies, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
-Raising Real Men, Hal and Melanie Young
-God Wants a Powerful People, Sherri Dew
-Teach Ye Diligently, Boyd K Packer

And I've really enjoyed the New Testament study guide, Scripture Study for Latter-day Saint Families, that was suggested on the LDS Mother's Education course list. I actually taught some 8/9 year olds in primary the last two weeks and this guide really helped me infuse some great questions and thoughts into the lessons.

So, that's a quick rundown of what's happened around here! (As not quick as it was :-D).

I guess the one thing that I would say to you, is in perhaps not so many words, what are your acceptable losses? I see people running around every which way taking kids here and there and are overly stressed because of it... is every activity or even any worth the extra tension in your home? Is making sure that every page or problem of a worksheet is finished really worth the struggle? I feel more and more each day that I am in a battle for the heart's of my children. I need to be steadfast and immovable, loving, and humble. *laugh* I need to be a walking contradiction! :-). At the end of the day, what was important? When I talk to my husband is it important that I give him a rundown of all that the children did "for school" that day, or is an emphasis on the gospel discussions we've had, and the out of the blue connections my children make with life and gospel principles while we go about our day the kind of things we focus on? I loved a post I read on Latter-day Homeschooling this morning by a writer who's a single mom, it's called Structuring Our Day for Eternity. She's a better writer than I, so I hope you'll bop over there and read her posts to see how she connects and talks about each subject of learning related to the gospel. Perspective is everything!

What are you willing to lose at this point in your life to help you focus on what matters most? If you don't know, I can promise you that spending some time on your knees will make it very clear!

Good Things Coming!!

So, after my last post I've been trying to get my life back... and in between midday naps and crazy nausea (my poor husband, he really wants a girl, but if this doesn't quit in the next week or two I'm pretty sure we'll be welcoming another boy! Our one and only daughter is the only time that I wasn't sick for 9 months and got to enjoy some of the "oh, you'll feel much better in the second trimester" comments that the liars told me when pregnant with my first (a boy). The only relief I got with him and subsequent males is when they were born... I guess we'll really be solidifying the trend if this keeps up!) , okay, refocusing, I've done a pretty good job of getting things back together.

Last week some saintly friends took our children, (the older two to one friend and the younger two to another), and we were able to go to the LDS temple in Albuquerque which is a good little drive from here, so we stayed the night at a nearby Air Force base, it was great! The one thought that kept popping into my mind while I was there was about my education and spiritual goals and how that would influence my children, shocking huh? *laugh* Here I am pulling my hair out not knowing how things are going to come together but really feeling like I just need to do something and who knew? That was my answer. GET GOING. Sunday comes and just my oldest son and I go to church (we had one runny nose, a perpetually screaming child, and one that just wanted to spend time with dad since he has to leave soon), so it was a fairly quiet meeting. The overall spirit of the room was oddly calming and inspiring, the talks were on goals (anyone else feel like they catered this just to me?), and I got hit by the thought that I needed to come home and take a look at A Mother's Educational Course for Latter-day Saints. I found this website a while ago and thought it was incredible so I joined their yahoo group, got all jazzed and year after year I have not actually written out goals and determined to follow the schedules these amazing women have put together. I get updates in my email, so I've pretty much stalked this group for over 3 YEARS, and I was not even remotely thinking about them at the time this thought popped into my head. So... I guess that was my sign it was time that I make some strides to get on board with them! I wrote an introduction to them on Sunday when I got home so now I would be accountable and not hiding in the background, and I've ordered books and resources to help me stay on task and increase my knowledge. I have to tell you I'M TERRIFIED. Which for me means that I'm on the right road to stability for myself and family and the adversary is going to play head games with me until I can officially start and shut him down. I may be a bit overwhelmed, but not in the way I was last week... this is different. I'm different. I'm excited and so impressed that this was sitting right in front of me all along and the whole last month and getting knocked down to what felt like nothing opened the door to where I was finally able accept and embrace something different in my life. I'm usually able to direct everything myself, but I needed this to help find some direction so that I could do that once more, and my Father knew where I needed to look.

Anyway! I feel like this is the answer I've been looking for both me and my children and wanted to share it with you. The course outlines and everything being offered is free (which is my favorite number!) I appreciate the kick and redirection as well as the ability to interact with others embarking on your same field of study or studies, and there's a certain element of encouragement and accountability that is sometimes lacking in your everyday life. So, that's my first good thing that I'm working on!

Secondly.... drum roll!!!!!!!!

I MADE THE TOS CREW FOR THE 2011-2012 SCHOOL YEAR! I'm really excited about this! I've enjoyed reading review posts over at Our Busy Homeschool and have wanted to have the opportunity to share some of the same experiences with my children. As TJed-er's of sorts, we don't really have too many "set" things throughout the day or curriculum that we rely on too much. We like a lot of things and find them to be great resources, but we change at a moments notice and just try to have fun and enjoy things as they come. I felt like reviewing curriculums/products would be especially fun because when something showed up we'd have something most likely completely new and that I hadn't thought of (I'm not really a creative person, can you tell?) So! I thought this would be great for all of us here to shake things up especially during times when dad is away, so I'm super excited to have found out that I made it! From what I know we should start getting things to review come June, and I can't wait to share those with you!

Which then leads me to finally rewarding my followers for their efforts to help get me to the minimum number of followers needed so that I could apply in the first place! I don't have the cool little box thing that other giveaways have, I'll have to find that sometime, but here is the data from the website I use to randomize the winners, that's right! Because I'm excited about my new direction I'm giving away 2 Amazon gift cards!

Research Randomizer Results

1 Set of 2 Unique Numbers Per Set
Range: From 1 to 33 -- Unsorted

Job Status:

Set #1:
32, 8


So.... well, I was going to tell you who had those numbers but I can't for the life of me pull up my followers at the moment wither through blogger or on my page, weird! Okay, well, stay tuned for the next post and I'll let you know that and then you can send me your information so I can get you your card! You'll have 48 hours to claim your prize (that way I know you are really reading this ramble :-D), after that I'll be picking another winner and so on until both cards are claimed. Good luck!

A Little Overwhelmed

Today as I get ready for the day, I'm actually a little scared. As I consider what I want to do and how to inspire my children my mind has drawn a blank. I spent some time reading through past Daily Inspire emails that I get through Tjed Online to try and gain some needed inspiration and I'm just stuck! I think I've read so much about curriculum's that people are starting that I'm doubting myself.... add to that the fact that I'm just getting back to running my household, and it's a recipe for disaster. (Speaking of which, if you remember my post on Learning to Work might I throw in that RETEACHING your children all those lovely habits after they have done little more than veg in front of the computer for about a month is not fun... it's even less fun than the initial learning process. Unfortunately, despite my desperate plea that the children at least do their daily stewardships while I was down, my husband was a little to overwhelmed himself and the children didn't do anything. And I blame them getting the stomach flu on the fact that not everything was wiped down at least once a week with Clorox Anywhere Spray. Regardless, it is all really my fault, I've made my husband pretty obsolete as far as doing things around the house and I actually don't apologize for that but the explanation will probably have to have it's own post! Here's to hoping things work like clockwork after this baby comes and the children don't need the directions to get their work finished.... they would have this time but the computer spoiled their brains.) :-)

So, as to my difficulties today as I contemplate facing my children. My husband and I have a vision for our children. We have desires and hopes for them that they will cultivate a love for learning and an appreciation for the world around them. We desire that they will learn to work for what they receive and understand that they are a part of humanity and that they need to give just as much or more than they get. Our vision of life down the road includes scholarly discussions with children who come to us with topics that they've chosen and set off to engross themselves in and enrich the rest of our lives with their insights. We see congregating in front of a fire or lantern and discussing the scriptures with each other. I can see everything that we want, and I normally have no problem keeping that in perspective, but my path is considerable cloudy as I try to get my life back at the moment. I'm pretty spoiled, we decided early on that we wanted to homeschool, and we figured out when our oldest was 3 that the Thomas Jefferson Education Philosophy made the most sense to us. So, we've never had to "come off the conveyor belt" and reprogram our children.... until now. My children need to be reprogramed and I fear that my lack of energy will take us no where. Which then leads me to want to rely on some kind of curriculum, which is fine but can get very convoluted very quickly so that makes me a little leery.

Solution? Well, I have no idea... hence sending my thoughts out into the abyss :-). I know that baby steps will at least do something, so I'm going to focus on reading and trying to help draw my children in today. While breakfast is getting ready we'll open the scriptures, and after breakfast I'll set a timer to see how much of a stewardship we can get finished in 15 minutes, and then I think we'll grab our Little House in the Big Woods book that we've been reading aloud and perhaps I'll pull out a puzzle or some pattern blocks that little hands can play with while we learn about the Ingall's life (which we think is pretty fascinating.)

Anyway, I know we'll get where we're going so long as we never stop. I don't want to miss the learning and teaching opportunities that are available to me and my children at this time in their life, but I thought you should know that I get overwhelmed too! I definitely have had a lot of "what am I doing?!" moments lately and I felt like my readers needed to see the imperfection that lays beyond my carefree exterior. I do know that I'm the best teacher for my children (well, not at the moment, but that's just one of those deep down truths that I can't change despite myself and will eventually re-realize when the superficial stuff that's bogging my mind wears away), so pressing onward we must go!

Why I Don't Do Tests Offered in Pregnancy, and Then A LIttle More

So, I'm weird right? Let's just start there....

This last week I had an appointment with my midwife and it was the first time that we had met her (the husband was able to come with me). Now, one of the most important questions that we ever ask, yes, it's very near and dear to both of us, is what the provider thinks about the glucose test. **If you're unfamiliar with this test, it's usually given sometime in the 2nd trimester (between 24-28 weeks) and involves drinking a sugar mixture, then you wait an hour, do a blood draw, and from that you can kind of get an idea how your body is handling sugar. However, if you fail this test or it's inconclusive then you get the joy of a 3 hour test... drink sugar, sit for 3 hours, then blood draw.**

Now, I learned with my first pregnancy that we would be denying any screening of our baby beyond a basic ultrasound. After discussing options with our OB then we realized that half or more of the tests the offered are likely to give false-positives or false-negatives, so we really didn't see the point. Additionally, the very thought of an amniocentesis (a big long needle being stuck in your belly to extract fluid) to confirm a diagnosis that may or may not be true and that may or may not cause a miscarriage, just wasn't for us. If you do these tests that's fine by me, it's your body, not mine, you do what's right for you. MIght I throw out that my current midwife has seen over 300 positive tests for downs syndrome and that only 2 of those babies actually had it when they were born and 1 other baby she delivered had it and the test was negative? She said it was pretty terrible because the positive results really affected the bonding between the parents and child beforehand and caused some rocky roads. Anyway! That was just what I picked up this week, thankfully we realized early on our own that the stress and pressure of dealing that kind of information would be just too much and that we'd rather just deal with things as the come!

K, so the one thing that I didn't have worked out before the first baby (besides don't let people bully/scare you into an epidural, even if they're closely related to you maternally *cough* Even though my oldest is 6 I can still feel where the epidural was, no thanks! Hello natural childbirth my old friend! I'll take some pain and immediate relief once they're out any day!), okay, I'm focusing now, the one thing that I didn't have worked out was the whole glucose test thing. They said I needed it, I was nervous since I know better than to just shoot up straight sugar without having something to balance it out, but we really need to know if I have gestational diabetes because that could affect mine and baby's health... yah, I now know that's just what silly people say :-).

Alright, don't get in an uproar, yes, diabetes is serious and can cause large babies etc., but let's talk a walk down common sense lane shall we?? Have you gained an abnormal amount of weight? Are you measuring larger than you should despite how old an ultrasound says baby is? Do you have diabetes in your family? Have you had diabetes in previous pregnancies??

For MOST people, the answer is no to all of these! Do you know the percentage of women that actually have gestational diabetes? It's somewhere between 3-10% depending on the demographics of the area you're looking at. The most correct average I've seen lays around 6%. So.... we test 100% of pregnant women with this horrendous test because 6% might have it?? This is a fairly new phenomenon, the whole testing everyone thing. Before you were only tested if you answered yes to those questions above there. There is no woman that I've ever talked to that had glowing reviews of this test. Personally, I almost puked (which means you get to start all over again!), and the very thought of having to do the 3 hour test made me a ball of tears.

So, since that time I've denied the glucose test, and have come in contact with some really nasty people :-). In Korea the lady was so upset I got a good lecture, through which I stayed calm and I'm pretty sure she hated that more than anything else I could have done. She then informed me that I had to sign a waiver, to which I smiled and said okay, and that was that. Subsequently I've met some interesting people that are more holistic but still think that it's important (Yah, sorry, unless there's some huge red flag waiving about me that you think I absolutely need to take this test... yes, I would do it then.... then the answer is no), and others who I just down right catch of guard.

Here's what I've learned:
-For 25 years the medical community has known that you can use jelly beans for this lovely test. However, if you take all the information in the world to your provider they won't think anything of it. It's true though! The research is there! (this test was suggested by the more holistic midwife who surprised me with her adamants that I take the test in the first place... and then we moved and the midwife here gave me more stats as to why a blanket test for everyone was silly).
-And secondly, I don't know what it's called but there's a blood test (no sugar added :-D), that you can have drawn which gives an accurate reading of your blood for the past 3 months then the glucose test every will. I'm really not going to speculate as to why we're being subjected to a less affective test than what's available, but as always I'm thinking money probably has something to do with it.

Anyway! Ladies, do your research! Be in control of your health whatever it may be. The treatment plans for gestational diabetes involve eating right and in right portions, exercise, and monitoring baby. Really? I need a test to tell me to do what I need to be doing anyway? Maybe you do! I don't know. The point of the matter is, that I think the whole business of having babies has become so complicated and medical that people don't know where to start! I seriously got a bag on my first visit to the office that had baby formula and 10 magazines. Things you should take to the hospital, what to do about xyz. It was incredible! My favorite part?? A lot of the information was conflicting :-).

Having babies is a natural thing, promise. I'm so grateful for people that have knowledge on how to intervene when things go awry (cause they sometimes do, that's why we have ours naturally but in a hospital), but for the most part, just relax! Eat as well as you can... sometimes I can't eat at all and sometimes I need more food then I think I should eat... try to stay active, drink water and enjoy life! And remember, this baby is YOURS. Call the shots and don't let anyone pressure you or scare you into making a choice, know your options and what you can handle and make sure your spouse is on board.

Want a for instance? I am a REALLY harsh critic of pitocin. I have several friends that don't go into labor without it (including a really cute mom of 10 I met when I was pregnant with our first), so don't judge me here, I do know it has it's place and if I absolutely had to have it for some medical emergency then we'd acquiesce. However! I think my second child and the experience I had delivering her saved my forth child's life.

We had just moved back from Korea, the husband was going to be school through the Air Force full time and our daughter was due about the 2nd week of school. I have a sister who literally planned all 6 of her kids thanks to pitocin, so we figured it wouldn't be a big deal to induce her on a Friday so that the husband could have a few days off with me before going back to school (we also had a 15 month old at the time). I still get nervy when I think of all the contractions that I felt with her and how hard they were hitting on top of each other, it just wasn't right! Something went wrong with the epidural, although they don't know what and now I'm pretty sure it was just Heavenly Father saying "remember this!", so I felt everything. They got things situated, I fell asleep for a little bit, then the next thing I know nurses are flying around me and putting an oxygen mask on me. It was pretty scary, I had no idea what was going on and I didn't care for having that thing on. Turns out our daughter's blood pressure had dropped pretty severely so now they were trying to do what they could to keep from having to do a c-section. What?? I didn't even know that was a possibility. Well! I do now, and a whole lot more.

So, baby #3 we just decide to go all natural, didn't take any classes and everything was great. It was all new territory so things were a little scary (I had NO idea what transition was going to be like or how long it would last, or what it was!), so when contractions hit on top of each other without letting me relax and I was just told that I was like a 5 or 6 I wasn't sure I could last, then wouldn't you know, they checked 5 minutes later and then rushed to get the Dr. because this baby was ready!

Baby #4 had a funny delivery. Labor started and stopped a few days before he was born, then I woke up one morning and my water had broke.... which was weird because that's never happened before right before baby is born.... I'd have really strong contractions, then nothing, and that lasted ALL DAY LONG whereas normally from 1st contraction to baby for me is pretty quick. We didn't understand. I was dilating slowly but surely, but things would just stop. I was asked from 12 hours from water breaking on if I wanted to start pitocin and was happy to turn them away for hours! I knew from our little girl that stuff wasn't any good! Then when he was actually born (I just decided that he was ready at one point and decided to push contraction or not), there was a true knot in his cord! It only happens in 1% of births, and I was just lucky I guess :-). Immediately the midwife explains that she's heard before about the body slowly and starting pregnancy because it knows that if things move too quickly that knot will pull tight and there goes baby's life support! BIG NOTE TO SELF, if they would have started pitocin it would have moved him too fast and could have potential caused an emergency situation. (*I"ll spare you a picture of an umbilical cord, but this is exactly what happens to it when there's a true knot).

So, get educated, learn from experience and enjoy the ride!