The Lessons from Learning a New Language as an Adult

There's nothing like feeling like you know nothing to help you learn :-D. I get a lot of time to quietly reflect as well as to listen wholeheartedly as of late. While I'm trying to be diligent about studying Japanese, let's face it, I didn't grow up here, serve a two year mission as a young adult, or work at it at all during the last 8 years that I've been married to a Japanese speaker (but, in my defense, a few of those years said Japanese speaker was living and working in Korea where he spoke Korean everyday.... yah, that's the other part of my defense, I'm married to a talented linguist who hears and picks up on things that are a not even on my radar! It's intimidating, he does his best to help, but he's having to work with someone that isn't naturally good at non-romance languages and some days are better than others :-D. Things went about the same way when I tried learning Korean, and just like those years, I found that the Koreans were a lot easier to learn from. Similarly, using my caveman Japanese (a term a friend here coined), the Japanese people have been very patient and helpful in expanding my understanding. From there comes the listening part... I understand very little! The phrase that I use more often then I'd like to is わかりません　"wakarimasen" .. I don't understand :-). I'm getting better with hiragana and can type it etc., so I'm leaps and bound ahead of where I was, but still not where I want to be. The people here are AMAZING! It pains me that I can't converse with them more. So, I listen and try to pick up on context and words to help me decipher what is being spoken. This especially applies to our time at church. Most of the time I have NO CLUE what's going on, but it's good though. I listen and reflect more than ever and for that I'll be forever grateful. Again, it's hard that I can't communicate as I'd like, but just being a quiet observer has taught me a lot I've also noticed how this experience has increased my desires and abilities to teach my children language. It's tout learning a new language! That total applies to the little people in our homes... I think I took for granted the ability of children to pick up on language. There brains are definitely squishy and able to learn quickly (my 4 older kids all have honed into the Japanese sounds and diction and are mixing Japanese words with their English... which I totally encourage, it's been so fun! And we're only like 12 weeks into about 3 years of being here!) Anyway, my patience level with teaching reading and writing has increased by a million and my efforts to teach language to my little ones in both English and Japanese have been infused with more vigor than ever. Anyway, I don't know how many of you are going to drop what you're doing to move to a foreign country and immerse yourself, but I absolutely recommend learning a new language and conversing with someone that speaks it regularly. I've learned a lot about myself and my chidden over the last few weeks! It's hard to grow and stretch... it hurts!... but we're better for it in the end. Might I also extend a challenge to those whose husbands speak a foreign language? LEARN IT NOW :-D. I'm LDS and all worthy men asked to serve missions for two years when they're 19 (women can also go at 21 if they so choose). One of the things that I keep hearing over and over is how men have been reproved for not teaching their wives the language that they learned. Elderly couples are asked to serve missions as well and the message that keeps coming through is that the Lord needs couple missionaries to serve in foreign countries and that it's especially important for the wives to be able to communicate with the people there. So! If you're husband served a foreign mission maybe it's time to start learning? Definitely pray and talk to your husband about things at the very least, it may surprise you what you find :-). (And might I add, while my brain isn't as squishy/able to learn language as easily as when I was a child, I'm sure it's a lot easier to do now then it would be later in life!) We have a senior missionary couple here right now that's reminded me of this. The wife (Sister) and I work on Japanese once a week. She's studying hard and getting better everyday, but it's HARD! She remembers a prayer her husband taught her when they were first married and things like that, but the new stuff is difficult. She wishes she would have learned more then when it stuck. She also shared an experience from the MTC of her husband getting reproved for not teaching her Japanese. I keep hearing these stories! So, with the aid of much prayer and my dear husband who prays to know how to teach me, we're trying to move forward and prepare ourselves to serve the Lord wherever he may need us. For now, He needs us here and prepping our future missionaries by also helping them to learn a new language diligently (and to help their mom be better able to teach them their current language :-D). He's also teaching me to love all people and cultures, to find beauty in small things, and to quietly watch and listen. I'm grateful for these lessons. They're not easy... especially with an infant, still moving in, 2 kids in 2 different schools (where I also can't communicate with anyone effectively yet!), and a husband's who's business trips take up a lot of room on our calendar... but I'm learning! Are you learning a language or have you tried in the past? What keeps you going?

Time Keeps Going....

... and if I never take the time to sit down and blog when everyone is sleeping it'll never happen!

There's been lots of reevaluation in my life right now. We currently don't have a permanent home... we have a temporary home, supplied with standard items and the only sense of "home" and "familiarity" is in the clothes that were brought in our luggage for this grand adventure. We sent the kids blankets and other things we use frequently in our unaccompanied baggage shipment (the military's way of saying a few things that you want flown over without you and delivered soon after you arrive at your destination... as opposed to all the rest of your things, to include furniture etc., that will get there when it gets there). Anyway, said shipment has been here since we got here (and the rest of our household items for that matter), but without a home we have yet to have them delivered. Is there really no housing here? No, not necessarily. The majority of it is tower buildings (like the one that we currently reside on the 6th floor of), and we need to be on a certain side of the base in order to have our children go to school with out Bishop's children off-base in the Japanese schools, there's a lot of renovations happening, the housing offices doesn't really know what is and isn't available and/or when, and there's very little officer housing... so things are complicated. It's a headache to say the least. I have a lot of mixed feelings on the whole thing. I'm a bit more than stressed out but trying to keep calm for everyone else.... 5 kids 6 and under in a 3 bedroom place with nothing familiar to them and a dad who is gone pretty much from when they get up to when they go to bed has left many of them a little more than stressed out (out of control behaviors and comfort habits like finger sucking etc are at an all time high at the moment). No end in sight for this extended TLF stay and TDY's (temporary duty assignments i.e. husband going out of town for extended periods of time) set for every month for the next few months and deployment(s) on the horizon, have me about tapped out.

Now, on the flip side? I am extremely grateful to have a place to live at all! It's hard to live like this... my children desperately need normalcy, schedules and some stability... but we have a roof and protection from the weather (not necessarily earthquakes, but that's another story all it's own!). I read about the unrest in Syria, I think about the industrial revolution and how many family members and even families lived in one small home. I think of those who lost homes in the slew of natural disasters that have come in full force all over the world over the last year and have no where to go, and no hope of recovering the things that were swept away. I may be uncomfortable (and desperately wanting access to my treadmill), but I don't have to worry about so many things that others do. So, I am blessed, and I am grateful, and I'm praying daily (multiple times usually) that I can handle this the way that I need to!

On another note... I handle things better when I'm distracted :-D. Yes, yes, you know I'm quirky, and this is one of those things that I just do (and I KNOW others do to), deflection can be good sometimes! I still get what I need to done, but when faced with many things that I don't' have control over, I have to find something somewhere. Perhaps the lesson here is that I just need to let go? Maybe... I'll have to revisit that sometime. For now, I have to deflect in order to keep from going truly insane. I read Thomas S Monson's biography "To The Rescue" a lot faster than I thought I would.... it was one I brought on the plane thinking it would keep me busy, and it did for a bit, but it's over sadly (Fantastic read though! You should pick one up!)... I ordered some more books to keep me company until we get a home and I get my other books that have been waiting to be read. Here's what's on it's way, feel free to comment if you've read any!:

-A Watchman on the Tower (Elder Boyd K Packer's biography... the other book I was reading before we shipped our things was Teach Them Diligently, he was also referenced in President Monson's biography and a few CES Broadcasts that I've heard, so I wanted to read more about Elder Packer in the meantime).

-Increase in Learning by David A Bednar

-Return to Virtue by Elaine Dalton

-Being George Washington, The Indispensable Man, as You've Never Seen him by Glenn Beck.

Yah.... I can't do anything on a little scale can I? This isn't even the half of what I wanted *laugh* I'm waiting to see if Deseret Book has a sale for Conference to see about getting the rest (I want more biographies :-D).

It'll be really nice to get these books, reading things like this is a huge stress relief for me. I also thought the George Washington book would be especially nice seeing as how I'm delving into my Master's in American History for another distraction. Yes, being taxed down with papers to write and due dates helps me cope with life, what can I say? It's that or training for races... and with a bunch of little kids and no treadmill I can't do the latter at the moment. So, multiple avenues of stress relief are being visited at the moment.

I'm also learning Japanese through a BYU Independent Study course. We attend a Japanese church and the people there are incredibly kind and very helpful with my struggling language abilities. I'm enjoying learning and being able to communicate more, but have to focus on one day at a time so as not to get too overwhelmed with how much there is to learn!

You know that phrase at the top of my blog "the more I learn the more I realize that there's a lot more to learn"? That phrase is not just there because I like the way it looks! It definitely describes how I feel about everything. I'm at a constant run trying to catch up and wanting to learn everything in one day, but that's not how it is to be. We learn step by step, line upon line, here a little there a little, right? And sometimes the lesson is just to be patient and work a little each day? Anyway! There's a lot more to learn, but I know more now that I used to! That counts for something right? :-D

We've also been revising eating habits here. We watched the Forks over Knives documentary before we left NM, and when I went looking for it while at the gym one day I stumbled on this lecture. So, after having Nathan watch it we've been trying to adapt to more vegan eating habits. While we don't agree with EVERYTHING the guy says, we still agree with quite a bit. We weren't much for eating meat to begin with, but man! Dairy! I LOVE dairy! So, trying to find good recipes to replace our go to ones has been something that I try to do (and not think about how much easier and cheaper it would be in the states!) One of my friends from UT directed me to a fantastic site: http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/, and Engine 2's recipes(featured in Forks over Knives), and I picked up a Forks over Knives book at the BX which also had recipes. I'm not into "fake food" or foods galavanting as something else. So, that makes this a bit more challenging. For me, processed food is processed food and moderation in all things it key.

Anyway! There's a lot and yet very little going on here all at once. Time keeps going at a blistering rate and I feel overwhelmed by things I can't control.... hence the deflection. Things I look forward to are taking turns reading every other verse in the Book of Mormon with Noah, and sitting to read library books. We're trying to work on other things "school related" but just like I'm having a hard time focusing on one thing, my kids are also having a hard time focusing on anything in particular and their normal resources aren't available. We try and hit the park, but it's snowed a few times, rained a lot, and been bitterly cold more than I care to think about. We've braved the bitter cold windy days for the sake of sanity though.

I'm actually looking forward to my older children going to the Japanese school in the hopes that it'll bring some balance to the force. I'm also excited for the opportunity that they'll have to be immersed in the language and culture that their father loves so much. We've been blessed so much to be here and I'm sure we'll continue to be. What's life without some opposition though, right? I'm trying to focus on the positives and not focus on the things that are hard and discouraging. I think this time has really helped drive home the idea that we don't really know what other people are going through or how that effects them. I know that many people out there have some empathy for me, but some of you are wondering what I'm finding so difficult. That's fair... I don't know what has me all worked up either! Okay, I kind of do, but I need to get over it :-). In any case, if you've gotten this far in my babble, here's a beautiful blog post that I'll turn you to thanks to another blog that I frequent. Things aren't always as they seem.

That's enough of my random thoughts for now. Weighing-in Wednesday will be back tomorrow.... okay, granted that's most of yours Tuesday's, but it's Wednesday for me and if I factor in time changes I'll forget! Bear with me here while I try to attempt to straighten my life out or at least find the new path that's been set before us :-).

Love, Laughter, and Limits Parenting

Hi everyone! I wanted to share with you a website for YOU that I think you might find to be a really fantastic parenting resource for yourselves or to share with friends as well. My sister-in-law sent me an email asking for participants for her dad's Master's project.... it would be watching parenting videos. I honestly can tell you that I wasn't interested too much in the project at first except that it would be a help to family. However, after spending some time on the site, I am now very grateful to have been able to have been asked to participate and asked if I could share this information with you!

So, here we are :-). The Love, Laughter, and Limits Parenting website is the work of Tom Dozier, a graduate student at CSU Stanislaus. Through video presentations Tom gives short lectures accompanied with power point presentations on many issues dealing with children. Right now the site is set up with videos addressing before birth through toddler, but Tom is in the process of creating more videos to add shortly. Eventually there will be video's up through young adulthood! Here is why the site works in their own words:

Love, Laughter, and Limits teaches you practical ways to be a warm, positive, and happy parent. But it works because it is based on extensive research. What makes LLL unique is that it is based on both the fundamental research in the science of human behavior and broad research in child development, psychology, and other fields. As I work with parents on their individual parenting challenges, I am always impressed at how quickly and positively children respond. It is the behavior science perspective that makes this stuff really work! But behavior science research is based on short-term studies, and parenting is a long-term proposition. The broad academic research is critical to know what issues are important for the long-term growth and development of your child. By combining these two forms of research, LLL can help you interact with your family in ways that produce good behavior now and contribute to your child's long-term growth and development.

You know I like to research! I research just about anything and everything and am interested in just about anything and everything. I was really surprised at the research that was presented in these videos. Many things I knew, however, there were things presented that I didn't know or that built upon principles and things I already use and believe in using with my children.

Head over to Love, Learning, and Limits Parenting website and start learning for FREE! These classes are free until 1 April 2012.... however, if you finish all the courses and give feedback before that time you'll have free access to the Love, Learning, Limits website you'll have free access to the site for the rest of 2012. I definitely think this is worth your time to check out. I'm enjoying the lectures and find that the questions I get asked most are better explained here then I've ever done. I'm interested to see what's up and coming as the later years are addressed! (Yep, I just told you that this mother of 5 is still learning about parenting... I know, you're shocked ;-D.) It takes about 5 hours to watch all the videos, and with the short segments they're actually fun to turn on during quiet moments here and there.

Try it out and tell me what you think!

My Educational Goals

I posted the other day about The Mother's Educational Course, and have been busy gathering my resources and setting my goals/plans ever since. So, this morning I actually posted my goals/plans with their yahoo group and wanted to repost them here. I'll add hyperlinks and stuff later, but I at least wanted to put up my thoughts in both places in case anyone else was looking for some encouragement or a buddy to study a long with. As a side note, I don't want anyone to feel overwhelmed by my plans... if you haven't noticed, I'm a pretty intense person when it comes to me and I don't expect others to be quite so masochistic (for instance, a marathon and Ironman triathlon are on my short list of goals fitness-wise, and my hope for you is just that you'll attempt a 5k or sprint triathlon, see... I'm realistic :-D). As for all that I have planned "educationally." you have to understand that I'm using this as a way to keep my brain busy cheaply. I REALLY wanted to do a Master's program, but couldn't find $10,000 laying around, so this is great for me and I love the focus on Divinity, I think that will make a big difference for me and my family in a way that yet another piece of paper with my name on it never will (not that I won't be going after more of those, it just isn't in the plans at the moment).
As for time, well, that is always and interesting question isn't it? I like to study/learn before my children wake up, while they're awake, while they're napping or having quiet time (if I don't have to nap myself and sometimes I get to do both), and after they go to bed. We don't watch tv, so that frees up a lot of time... with kids in bed by 7:30 that leaves some good daylight and waking hours for both my husband and I to read/research before retiring. Plus, I have to admit, the added pregnancy insomnia helps me get in a lot of extra reading! These timeframes are also what I use for exercise.... I really like this quote attributed to Thomas Jefferson: Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. I spend time teaching and being with my children, but I think it's also good for them to have the chance to see me actively doing what I'm asking of them. Anyway! Without further ado, here's how I'm going to finish out 2011 and if one or more things on my list sound like something that you'd like to do, by all means join me!:
********************************************************************************************************************************

"I figure writing things out is a good method to figuring out how I want to go
about accomplishing my goals/plans. Accountability is a good thing :-).

I spent this week collecting my resources and settling out what I need to do, so
here it goes. With just a focus on the main "core" of study:

Divinity:
-I will read at least one verse from the Book of Mormon everyday.
-I will study for Gospel Doctrine using the New Testament, my student guide
(well, the teachers guide is what's available online, so I use that), The Life
and Teachings of Jesus Christ and His Apostles (which was sitting on my shelf,
which is a bonus!), and Scripture Study for Latter-day Saint Families (which I
purchased from Seagull book Mon or Tues and just got last night, so excited!)
-I will prepare for Relief Society each week either from Gospel Principles,
Ensign, etc.
-I will read the Ensign each month cover to cover (the church has it available
to download as a book on the iPad, it's fantastic, I highly recommend it and
love that I don't have more magazines accumulating).
-I will read and memorize at least one hymn/primary song a month.
-I will read Jesus the Christ.
-I will read To The Rescue (that also came in my Seagull order).
-I will study once a week from Preach my Gospel.
-I will read whatever article is mentioned in the section on Thomas S Monson for
the month.
-And I will record my thoughts and feelings during these readings in my journal.

Education:
-I will read an article from the Education and Literacy section under provident
living each month.
-I will read an article from The Parents Review each month.
-I will read Charlotte Mason Vol 3.
-I will read Teach ye Diligently (I'm REALLY excited about this one after
reading the reviews on goodreads and can't wait for it to get here!)
-I will read Arm the Children (which I've wanted to read for some time, I've
heard it is wonderful and what's not to love about the title? Definitely
applicable, can't wait for that to get here too!)

Music/Art
-I will learn to play the Mandolin (waiting for my beginners book to get here...
the poor mandolin has been traipsing the world with us for 10 years, so glad to
get a kick to learn it, which I'm hoping will inspire my husband to learn it
too. He bought it before we were married but hasn't taken the time to learn
it... my kids are fascinated by it too. Here's to starting a new family
tradition! Hopefully the husbands guitar skills will rub off on me along the
way too.)
-I will set up a practice schedule each day to practice even 10 minutes.
-I will play for our family talent show at the end of the year.
-I will improve my piano playing as well.

Langauge (Japanese)
-I will learn the alphabet, numbers 1-100, and 50 nouns.
-I will learn 1 song.
-I will read 2 books in the Book of Mormon.

and I will work towards:
-reading 5 books in the Book of Mormon.
-knowing 150 nouns, 50 verbs & conjugates, 25 adjectives, 25 phrases and numbers
1-1 million.
-knowing 6 songs
-and reading 1 Liahona

and then to:
-reading the whole Book of Mormon
-reading 3 Liahonas
-knowing 12 sonds
-reciting the Articles of Faith
-and practicing with a native speaker (or my perfectionist husband and other
returned missionaries from Japan.)

In order to fulfill my language goals I will continue using
http://hiraganamama.wordpress.com/ who I found and have been dependent on since
the beginning of the year when I first set out to teach myself and my children
Japanese. I'll also be using alphabet and other children's books that my
husband sent back from Japan when he was working there last year.
I also ordered my own Japanese Book of Mormon, a family hymnal, and a copy of
Gospel Principles to use in my studies, and I will continue to use our
children's songbook that we've had since my oldest was a baby (I'm slow, but we
know about 3 songs from memory).

I know there's a lot set out before me, but I do believe that as we strive and
continue to go forward that our ability to handle hard things and to improve and
increase in learning gets magnified. I'm excited for this opportunity to focus
my thoughts and honestly the biggest blessing is being able to structure and
fulfill things that I've already wanted to do! So, thank you for mapping things
out so my brain didn't have to, and now armed with almost all my resources I'm
reading to go forward!